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Taking the three


Criminal mastermind.

Gazette staff May 25th, 2011

Here’s a story about a Bird man and the NBA. (And we’re not talking about former Hornets power forward Chris “Birdman” Andersen and his badass neck tattoos.)

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Nope, we’re talking about a man so obsessed with NBA legend Larry Bird that he requested three more years on his Oklahoma Department of Corrections prison sentence just to match the jersey number of the former Boston Celtics star.

The Boston Globe reported that Eric Torpy is perceived to be a “birdbrain” for taking a 30 — er, 33-year — sentence for armed robbery and two counts of shoot ing with intent to kill in October 2005.

“He said if he was going down, he was going to go down in Larry Bird’s jersey,” Oklahoma District Judge Ray Elliott told The Associated Press at that time. “He was just as happy as he could be.”

Although his ink can’t compete with Andersen’s wicked art, Torpy’s tats include the number “33” and a shamrock under his eye, the Globe reported. (The DOC’s offender lookup also shows some swastikas, a dragon and a skull decorate his epidermis.)

After spending six years of his sentence, Torpy is re-thinking his three-point play inside the Davis Correctional Facility in Holdenville. Now he wants a fast break.

“I kind of wished that I had 30 instead of 33,” he told the Globe. “Recently, I’ve wisened up.

“That three is a big deal, you know? Three years matters.”

For some reason, Bird didn’t comment for the Globe story. That’s despite the fact that Torpy thinks Larry “supersedes all basketball legends.”

Torpy is reportedly eligible for parole in 2033, when he’ll be in his mid-50s.

“I’m sorry, Larry Bird,” he told the Globe, “but I don’t love you that much to hang out to 2033. I’m ready to go out now.”

 
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