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Hire them. Or else. Do it. Do it now.

Gazette staff June 1st, 2011

Lots of press releases cross our desk. Recently, these titles least screamed “Stop the presses!” (misspellings and all):

—“Hire a licensed contractor to fix electrical and plumbing problems”
—“FOR RELEASE: Veggie Burgers for Vegetarians, Vegans...and the Rest of Us!”
—“esophageal cancer photo”
—“Selexys Pharmaceuticals Initiates Phase I Clinical Study”
—“Vetern OB/GYN Joins Mercy Clinic El Reno”
—“Process of Creating Global Standards for Responsible Freshewate Trout Aquaculture Enters Final Stage” —“TRANSFORMERS: DARK OF THE MOON Image”
—“Harrison Arkansas, Great Place to Be!”
—“IRN Payment Systems Forgoes its Own Profits to Provide Charities with Steady Flow of Income”
—“The Wiggles: Ukulele Baby out on DVD August 9th!”
—“Chunks O’ Fruti® introduces its newest 100% natural frozen fruit bar—Strawberry Colada”
—“Standup Comedy Superstar Jeff Dunham To Be Profiled On ‘Biography’”
—“Mavericks Player Jason Kidd Visits the OKC National Memorial and Museum”

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