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Two guys, one beer

Guess they weren't the type to share

Gazette staff July 13th, 2011

We here at Chicken-Fried News generally abide by the assumption that most people can handle someone else eating the last piece of cake or an unclaimed schnitzel that had been sitting in the fridge without resorting to a physical altercation.

How we love to have our assumptions proven wrong, especially if it involves violence and alcohol.

According to a July 7 story on, Oklahoma City police arrested two men on July 3, Jose Cardona, 26, and Heraldo Alahandro Martinez, 26, on complaints of public drunkenness and assault and battery with a dangerous weapon, as well as an additional complaint against Cardona of marijuana possession.

Martinez allegedly told police that he and Cardona were drinking at a house before arguing about the last beer, according to the story. When Martinez went out to smoke a cigarette, Cardona allegedly followed him and hit him in the right eye with a beer bottle.

Police said Cardona called Martinez’s beer bottle and raised him a knife, allegedly stabbing him in the back as they fought in the driveway, the story states, although Cardona said Martinez fell on a piece of broken glass.

Martinez was reported to have a wound in his back, while Cardona had a cut and swelling to his eye.

The Oke reports that other men live at the residence, but were not involved in the fight.

We’re hoping at least one of those people had the sense to drink down the last beer in question as they watched the skirmish in the front yard.

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