U.S. Marshal Kim Heath said she learned that Contreras-Sanchez ... look, we’re just going to call him CS from here on out, agreed? OK, anyway, CS was gonna make a break for it, according to NewsOK.com. And who should be driving from Las Vegas for his sentencing hearing but his lady love, Maria Jimenez? Hmmm.
Allegedly trying to help CS escape from Grady County Jail, that’s what. Surprise, surprise.
After CS’s sentencing hearing, Jimenez reportedly tried to bribe an officer into aiding the great escape. Make that the not-so-great escape, since Jimenez was arrested during the bribery attempt and marshals later said there was absolutely no point at which CS was actually at risk of escaping. Aw, c’mon, officers.
You couldn’t have let them at least think they’d gotten away with what could be the least thought-out escape attempt in history?
CS is now facing more charges for the escape-gone-nowhere, and Jimenez was arrested for trying to help that escape, plus the attempted bribery, according to the story.
Maybe some time in the clink would give her a few more inspired escape ideas. We’re thinking “Shawshank Redemption”-style, but we’ll leave the (dubious) creativity up to Ms. Jimenez.