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Monkey business

Gazette staff December 28th, 2011

Bestiality is serious business for Sen. Jim Inhofe and the Tulsa Metro Chamber.

See, during a Dec. 12 speech at the chamber, Inhofe told the audience that the repeal of “don’t ask, don’t tell” did not, as some people might have thought, mean bestiality also was being allowed in the military.

The remarks, which some took as a slam against homosexuals, quickly drew fire.

The chamber issued a statement distancing itself from the senator’s comments. Inhofe, for his part, said he was offended by the controversy and only had been trying to dispel an Internet rumor. In other words: It wasn’t a slur against gays; it was an actual explanation for people who believe every piece of spam that arrives in their email inbox. “Oh, my! A Nigerian prince urgently in need of my assistance? Do go on.”

After realizing that, yes, Inhofe’s explanation appeared to be directed at gullible goobers out there capable of making gigantic leaps in logic, the chamber issued a sheepish (pun intended) apology.

“In working with Senator Inhofe’s staff, we now understand Senator Inhofe’s remarks were made in an attempt to clarify a legislative matter associated with the repeal of the military’s Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy,’’ chamber president and CEO Mike Neal stated in the letter published in the Tulsa World.

“He provided examples of constituent communication in an effort to refute speculative fears about certain sections of the repealed National Defense Authorization Act.’’ Neal continued in the letter: “Senator Inhofe is a steadfast supporter and champion of business issues and we apologize for misinterpreting his remarks.’’ Not all, however, are buying the premise that Inhofe was trying to debunk rumors.

Toby Jenkins, executive director of Oklahomans for Equality, told the Tulsa newspaper, “We are very discouraged that a U.S. senator continues to wage war against gays, lesbians, bisexual and transgender Oklahoma citizens,” and that Inhofe “dishonors Oklahoma veterans who were gay or lesbian and had to serve in silence.”

Well, whatever Inhofe’s motivations, it’s good to see the lovers’ quarrel may finally be over — which, for the record, does not necessarily mean the chamber or Inhofe are endorsing bestiality.

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12.30.2011 at 12:59 Reply

The kicker of it is, statistically speaking there are more heterosexuals who have and are participating in bestiality than homosexuals.  Dare I mention the Bethany (heterosexually married) couple that were charged with allegedly having sex with their dog in December of 2010?  It’s animal abuse, and it’s still a crime people!

Perhaps Mr. Inhofe's office has been deluged by calls from constituents who watched a documentary called "Zoo" thinking it was going to be cute family friendly film, but were horrified that it was actually about a guy who died after having sex with a horse in 2005.  I’m not certain, but I think the subject of that documentary was married too.

On what planet do Inhofe and his constituents live?  I mean, let’s try and think about this for a second.  They’re implying that homosexuals will be engaging in sex acts with random animals during the course of their military duties.  Does anyone seriously think that a person violating an animal on government property will go unpunished?  The only place on this planet that perversions like this are tolerated is Tijuana.  And odds are, if you or someone you know has ever gone there, it was probably for that reason.

A sex act with a nonconsensual partner is a crime, even if the partner isn’t human.  So, let’s all put on our big boy pants and start talking about things that are more likely to happen; like you’re kids being exploited by a coach, priest, or teacher.  This moronic attempt to tie consensual homosexual acts to nonconsensual deviant acts like pedophilia and bestiality are shallow and obvious attempts by prudes to prevent homosexuals from gaining all the same basic rights that heterosexuals have.  You all need to grow the #$&% up!