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Like a prayer

Gazette staff March 21st, 2012

A bill recently passed by the state House would allow churches to speak to you about getting your soul to heaven before they blow your ass to hell. Authored by Rep. Mike Ritze, House Bill 2988 seeks to give church officials legal authority to smoke your candy-heathen ass in a place of worship if they deem it necessary.

In a news release, Ritze cited the 2005 assault on a Tulsa reverend; the 2009 killing of an Anadarko pastor; and recent bomb threats against Edmond’s Fairview Baptist Church after its pastor, the Rev. Paul Blair, spoke out against an Oklahoma City Council resolution prohibiting discrimination based on sexual orientation.

Conspicuously absent in the release was the mention of threats against Oklahoma Muslim leaders following the passage of a law banning courts from considering Shariah law when deciding a case. But who has time to list how HB 2988 would apply to all houses of worship, right?

“While I certainly hope this legislation is never needed, there have been several cases in recent years where citizens at a place of worship were the target of violence,” Ritze said. “Should that occur again, this legislation simply makes clear that the right to self-defense applies to a place of worship.”

The bill must now pass the Senate and get the approval of Gov. Mary Fallin, but it might face some challenges, especially from liberal hippie types telling people crazy things like turn the other cheek or love your enemy.

As if saying things like that would ever win an election in Oklahoma.

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03.21.2012 at 08:47 Reply

Like people need another reason not to go into a "church."  Further proof that religion of any type acutally promotes violence.

Would like to add that it's odd that those who believe they are ensured eternal life beyond what we physically know would have any need to defend that life.  Defense is an act of fear.  I can imagine an athiest fearing for the only existence they know, but a Christian?  Might was well wear a sign that says "I really don't believe this shit."