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Hooker fashion


Tom Furlong June 13th, 2012

I once saw a news story about how hookers on the West Coast banded together to form a union. I’m becoming convinced ladies of the evening might also need union protection here in “flyover” country.

There are too many females 14 years of age and up garbed in black net stock ings, spike heels and cleavage down to here; and that’s just in school cafeterias and churches. Hookers just don’t look all that salacious when compared to our local darlings.

And if you wonder who these lithe little things are modeling, look no further than their mothers as they ungraciously try to combat aging.

I also am wondering if our local gangsters might need much the same when I see guys wearing the Jolly Green Giant’s jeans with pant legs dragging the ground, constantly held up by the never-ending crotch grab; never mind the south-facing ball caps and ink.

What’s a self-respecting gangster going to do when he just doesn’t look all that menacing anymore?

—Tom Furlong, Oklahoma City


Opinions expressed on the commentary page, in letters to the editor and elsewhere in this newspaper are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of ownership or management.

 
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06.13.2012 at 12:24 Reply

I bet if one of those "Gangsters" knocked on Tom's door he either would; refuse to open it, open it holding a weapon, or just call the police (in which case I'd dare say the gangsters must still be menacing).  And given the tone of his previous comments, I'm sure he'll make numberous references to Obama, Welfare, and Socialists while performing the action of choice.

While I find the fashions he describes equally obnoxious, I also happen to realize we have freedom of expression.  If he's offended by such attire, he can either choose not to look, or he can just lock himself indoors like so many of his age do.  Tom, how is this the "land of the free" if people are expected to conform to what YOU deem societially acceptable?  I'm not sure you appreciate or understand the scope of constitutional rights.

On a related note; I've always wondered, why do these people (gangsters) bother wearing belts if they aren't going to fasten them properly?  Oh, and please feel free to try some Bruce Lee moves with your crotch at your knees.  Hilarity will ensue!

 

 
 
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