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You’ve got male

Gazette staff June 19th, 2012

Oklahoma City recently took a break from chopping down a tree while simultaneously strangling a grizzly bear with its bare hands to allow the medal of “Manliest City in America” to be pinned upon its big, burly chest.

Credit: Brad Gregg

That’s right, ladies and juiced up He-Men, Oklahoma City was named the manliest city in all ’Merica by Combos — “everyone’s favorite cheese-filled pretzels, crackers and tortillas made with real cheese” — along with the undoubtedly delectable, yet unfortunately inedible, Bert Sperling, who you may know from his previous roles as “research expert” from the “Best Places to Live” studies, according to a media release from Combos.

What’s more, the Miami Heat’s namesake ranked only 36th in the “study.” Take that, you tofu-eating, metrosexual, man-scaped, girlie men. Now bring us your women, so that we may implant them with our viral man seed.

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