Thursday 31 Jul

Escape from Tomorrow

With Escape from Tomorrow, one fears the story behind the movie would loom larger than the movie itself. Luckily, that is not the case. After all, it opens with a decapitation on Disney World’s Big Thunder Mountain Railroad roller coaster.
05/06/2014 | Comments 0


William Friedkin spends a lot of time in his 2013 memoir discussing why Sorcerer didn't click with critics and audiences even though he believes it to be better than his previous film, The Exorcist. Now that Warner Home Video has reissued Sorcerer on Blu-ray, we can see what Friedkin's fuss is all about.
04/23/2014 | Comments 0

Broadchurch: The Complete First Season

Welcome to the coastal resort of Broadchurch, population … oh, who can keep track, what will all the corpses? Yes, Broadchurch is yet another British television procedural involving the search for a murderer in a quaint little town, just like the limited series The Fall and Top of the Lake.
04/23/2014 | Comments 0

Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones

Essentially part five in the ridiculously profitable horror franchise, Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones continues the found-footage conceit of the other films. The difference is instead of the scares taking place in rich white suburbia, they do so in a junky apartment complex on a largely Latino side of Oxnard, Calif.
04/23/2014 | Comments 0

Holy Ghost People

Holy Ghost People examines two sisters whose bond is torn — but by what? After her sibling has been missing for more than a year, Charlotte (Emma Greenwell, TV's Shameless) intends to find out.
04/15/2014 | Comments 0
Home · Articles · Movies · Comedy · Ted


A cuddly teddy bear is at the center of 'Ted,' but its raunchy comedy isn't for kids.

Phil Bacharach June 29th, 2012

Ted is a foul-mouthed, hooker-loving pothead prone to comments of racism, homophobia and misogyny. Ted is also a stuffed teddy bear.


That's the premise, plot and central joke of Ted, the movie-directorial debut of Seth MacFarlane, creator of TV’s animated series Family Guy. It's a funny enough idea, but stretched mighty thin for feature-film length.

MacFarlane supplies the voice of the titular character, as he does for Family Guy's Peter Griffin, but the similarities don't end there. Written by MacFarlane and two of his TV collaborators, Ted is chock full of non sequiturs, politically incorrect humor and the conviction that pop-culture references are funny in and of themselves. Sometimes it works, and Ted, to its credit, boasts a handful of outrageously funny bits. But it’s also slack-paced and uneven enough to screw up your equilibrium.

Mark Wahlberg (Contraband) plays John Bennett, a 35-year-old Boston guy with a curious backstory. As a smarmy voiceover narrator explains, John was a lonely kid in the '80s when he made a fateful Christmas wish that his beloved teddy be able to talk and befriend him. That wish came true.

Decades later, John is in a dead-end job and spends most of his time doing bong hits with Ted. Adding to his dilemma, John's gorgeous girlfriend, Lori (Mila Kunis, Friends with Benefits), thinks it's time for him to grow up.

MacFarlane draws things out with farts, shoehorned cameos and sitcom fodder, like Joel McHale (TV's Community) as an oily boss with designs on Lori, and Giovanni Ribisi (Avatar) doing his creepy shtick. For every laugh, expect four tortured references to Flash Gordon, Tom Skerritt and the like.

If you're OK with that ratio, and yearn to see a teddy bear smack Wahlberg's bare ass with an antenna, get to the theater now.

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