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Nowhere near as hot as it thinks.

Rod Lott October 16th, 2012

247˚F is as compelling as you'd think about a movie set almost entirely in a sauna would be: not at all, once you think about it. I'm all for films set in single and/or small spaces, but this one has nowhere to go.


Three years after a horrific car crash all but destroyed her will to live, Jenna (Scout Taylor-Compton of Rob Zombie's pair of Halloween remakes) takes a much-needed vacay with three pals to a lakeside cabin for some R-and-R. Part of the agenda includes drinking brewskies in the sauna, then jumping into the lake to cool down, then heading back into the sauna to warm up, and so on.

But when one dude (Michael Copon, Night of the Demons) gets wasted to the point of obnoxiousness and then unconsciousness, his pals go in without him ... and get locked in by a ladder. That leaves Jenna, Ian (Travis Van Winkle, 2009's Friday the 13th remake) and Renee (Christina Ulloa, TV's Charmed) to sweat their way to certain death.

Here's the problem: Once you're stuck in a sauna, your options of action number precious few, none of them particularly cinematic. Co-directors Levan Bakhia and Beqa Jguburia do them, anyway, yet the effort is hardly worth one's time. Unlike 247˚F's heroes, you won't break a sweat. —Rod Lott

Hey! Read This:
Friday the 13th film review    
Night of the Demons DVD review  

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