Last week, the Baptist General Convention of Oklahoma released survey results of its “2012 Oklahoma Voter’s Guide for the Well-Informed Voter of Faith.”
Of course, in this instance, “Voter of Faith” means follower of the one correct and true faith of the Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. (Catholics, Mormons, Unitarians or people who might believe in God — but want to keep such beliefs from dictating public policy — need not apply.)
Some 75 politicians stopped praying for a few minutes to answer the 25-question survey to let voters know where they stand — in the words of the BGCO — on “moral and ethical issues.”
You probably know where this is going.
Those “moral and ethical issues” included questions on school vouchers, merit pay for teachers, No Child Left Behind, creationism in classrooms, gay marriage, gay couples being allowed to adopt, whether companies moving jobs outside the U.S. should be punished, Obamacare, taxes, gambling and abortion. (It’s our understanding that those last two are pretty much the entire economy of Las Vegas.)
According to the survey, only one candidate stated marriage was not limited to being between one man and one woman. Of the candidates responding, 75 percent oppose the state lottery, while 87.5 percent oppose the Affordable Care Act.
Here’s another fun figure not in the news release, and possible proof that a large number of Oklahoma legislators were not paying attention in science class: All but one candidate said either only creationism or a combination of creationism and evolution should be taught in classrooms.
This includes Congressional candidates Timothy Murray, a Democrat running in District 3, and Markwayne Mullin, a Republican running in District 2, both of whom said only creationism should be taught in public schools. Remarkably, that places them to the right of righter-than-right state Rep. Sally Kern, who said a combination of evolution and creationism should be taught.
Numerous attempts by Chicken-Fried News to reach God for comment to find out what the hell was up with his alleged followers proved unsuccessful.