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Guns, guns, guns!

Gazette staff December 26th, 2012

State Rep. Mark McCullough, R-Sapulpa, evidently trying to merge reality with the action movie playing in his head, had a flash of insight on the massacre at a Newtown, Conn., elementary school.

Credit: Brad Gregg

Classes already have plenty of books and backpacks. What schools really need are more guns.

McCullough’s resolution: Strap teachers and principals with firepower. After all, this is Oklahoma, where no politician has ever been hurt by making sweet, sweet love to the Second Amendment.

Three days after the Dec. 14 tragedy, McCullough announced he would push next legislative session to let Council on Law Enforcement Education and Training-certified teachers and principals carry firearms at school.

“I trust my children to my local teachers and principal every day. I want to give these trusted, responsible educators the ability to defend themselves and our children in the same way any normal parent would, in the face of the unthinkable,” he said.

Fortunately for those who might be a bit alarmed by the proliferation of heat at school, Oklahoma’s low teacher salaries make it unlikely that many could actually afford to purchase a gun.

State Sen. Ralph Shortey, R-Oklahoma City, seeing that a gauntlet of some sort had been thrown, piped in with a news release that McCullough’s idea doesn’t go far enough.

The proposal would be better, said Shortey, if all school employees with a concealed-carry permit could pack heat at the schoolhouse.

“Taking a restrictive approach to our Second Amendment rights would be the worst possible decision,” he said. “Allowing teachers and administrators with concealed-carry permits the ability to have weapons at school events would provide both a measure of security for students and a deterrent against attackers.”

McCullough reserved particular scorn on those with the unmitigated gall to link guns to a mass shooting.

“We cannot continue to be shackled by politically correct, reflexive, anti-gun sentiment in the face of the obvious: Our schools are soft targets,” thundered the lawmaker (well, it was a written statement, so “thundered” is, um, literary embellishment). “It is incredibly irresponsible to leave our schools undefended — to allow mad men to kill dozens of innocents when we have a very simple solution available to us to prevent it.”

There is no word on whether McCullough’s proposal would require gun-toting teachers to deliver snappy one-liners like, “Class dismissed, A-hole,” once they’ve gunned down the villain and saved the day.

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