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Oh, what a beautiful moaning

Gazette staff July 30th, 2013

Being good Oklahomans, we can’t begin to count the number of times we’ve seen the 1955 musical Oklahoma! (although we’re guessing it roughly corresponds to the number of times we’ve heard the phrase “honey lamb”). So color us shocked over the latest tell-all book by Laurey Williams herself, Shirley Jones.

Credit: Brad Gregg

In her new memoir, the actress — who starred in the movie and even sang its title tune at Oklahoma’s Centennial Spectacular in 2007 — reveals that she can orgasm with the frequency of wind sweepin’ down the plain.

Jones dishes on her late husband, actor Jack Cassidy, whose manhood, she suggests, could swell as high as an elephant’s eye. Dubbing Cassidy her “sexual Svengali,” she also details how the couple took part in a threesome, and we’re not talking chicks and ducks and geese.

Lest you think the 79-year- old Jones only waxes (figuratively, that is) on the dead ex, she assures readers that things are hunky-dory in the bedroom with current hubby Marty Ingels.

“Marty thinks I’ve still got a beautiful body, even though it is old, and every now and again I take all of my clothes off in front of him and shake my tits at him, and he loves it,” Jones writes.

Hoo, boy. Someone roll down an isinglass curtain. It’s getting hot in here.

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