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The Slimmest Girl in Town

Gazette staff December 4th, 2013

There’s nothing celebrities love more than a trendy, “miracle” diet. Amirite? Country starlet and celebrity Tishomingo resident Miranda Lambert — wife of Blake Shelton — is no exception.

According to British tabloid The Daily Mail, , Lambert told US Weekly she lost an entire dress size by drinking low-calorie cocktails; laying off junk food, like “beer and Cheetos”; eating smaller portions and — wait for it — actually exercising. Shocking, right?

She must be having her healthy food shipped through the postal service though; Southern Oklahoma is a mecca of cheap beer, fried catfish and “okree,” french fries and cheeseburgers.

The Mail reported that the singer calls the cocktails — made from rum, raspberry lemonade Crystal Light and Sprite Zero — “Mirandaritas.”

The tabloids claim that Lambert’s 30th birthday had something to do with the sudden lifestyle change. We at Chicken-Fried News don’t really get it; we’re turning 35 next year, and we’re pretty sure Lambert is way hotter and didn’t really need to change a thing.

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