5833 Northwest Expressway
What better way to reflect on a lifetime’s worth of bad romantic decisions than over an all-you-can-eat pizza and pasta buffet? For a measly $3.99 ($6.99 on the weekends), indulge in gut-busting servings of pizzas like Bacon Double Cheeseburger, Meat Market, Buffalo Chicken and the Superoni, as well as pastas, salads and desserts as children run about happily, playing arcade games, riding go-karts and driving bumper cars.
Red Dog Cafe
6417 NW 10th St.
Celebrate romance (or lack of it) by spending an evening with ladies whose job it is to like you. If that weren’t nice enough, they also cook up some of the best burgers and sandwiches in town. Try the extra-spicy jalapeño burger basket with fries ($7) or extra-crunchy chicken strips meal ($5). And then get that private dance.
Baker Street Pub & Grill
2701 W. Memorial Road
Celebrate your unbridled sadness and eternal loneliness by loading The Queen is Dead onto an iPod and heading down to a regional chain eatery. You have nothing else to lose. Baker Street offers a hearty helping of get-the-frick-over-it. The indelibly authentic Scotch eggs ($5.99) are a light that never goes out, as are the delightfully original potato-chip-crusted fish and chips ($13.99) served with zucchini fries.
The Grand Buffet
Grand Casino Hotel and Resort
777 Grand Casino Blvd., Shawnee
Know when to quit. Or, heck, when to go all-in. Head to The Grand Buffet, the sassy eatery locatsed right inside the casino. It’s loaded with varying daily specials. The Friday night surf and turf ($26.95) is a treasure chest of delights and features some truly tender and tantalizing New York Strip steak. It’s the perfect place to count your cash winnings as well as your romantic losses.
The Coach House
6437 Avondale Drive
When two people love each other very much, they put on nice pleated slacks and sequined blouses and head to the legendary Coach House. And while it might be dinner for one, hey, it’s more food for you, right? Right. Start off with exquisite seared foie gras with red wine pear gastrique ($20). And, because you deserve it, follow that up with sautéed Dover sole with citrus emulsion ($52).
Nancy’s Kitchen and 57th St. Lighthouse
5708 N. May Ave.
“I Can’t Make You Love Me” by Bonnie Raitt. “How Am I Supposed to Live Without You” by Michael Bolton. Both heart-wrenching songs of loss and regret. Let it all go. Lift your voice with a little help from Nancy’s desserts menu featuring decadent delights like Nancy’s chocolate chip cake ($3), two-scoop sundae ($3.50) or the turtle cheesecake ($3.50), all guaranteed to make anyone sing a happier tune.
1806 SE 59th St.
Like the famous song goes, there has got to be a morning after. After a debauched night of gambling, strippers, go-karting, shoegazing and mic-handling, it’s time to gather your wits. The tall acai-pomegranate and blueberry smoothie ($3.50) is what the doctor ordered, full of vitamins and nutrients that a healing body needs. A light breakfast of cream cheese bagelfuls (93 cents) will provide the energy to get up and go, reborn in your newfound self-love.
— by Louis Fowler, photos by Mark Hancock and Shannon Cornman