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Not necessarily the year 2010


Keith Gaddie January 7th, 2010

Jan. 1, 2010: 31,000 University of Oklahoma football fans show up at the El Paso International Airport asking for their charter to Los Angeles. Sun Bowl promoters sold out the game by telling Sooners ...

Jan. 1, 2010: 31,000 University of Oklahoma football fans show up at the El Paso International Airport asking for their charter to Los Angeles. Sun Bowl promoters sold out the game by telling Sooners fans that it was a scrimmage before meeting Alabama.
Jan. 6: Bob Stoops turns down Florida coaching job in exchange for being designated an Indian tribe with his own casino.
Feb. 9: The Oklahoma Legislature votes to convene for one day every 160 years, then passes budget through 2170 A.D., with a tax cut.
March 6: To prompt more interest in his gubernatorial campaign, Randy Brogdon promises to curtail governmental power by abolishing the job of governor.
April 11: Some guy who isn't Tiger Woods wins the Masters, but no one notices. Billy Sims takes up golf.

April 15: Tea party enthusiasts start serving sugar cookies and crustless sandwiches at protests.
May 1: Oklahoma Legislature again tries to rescind The Flaming Lips honorific. Vote fails when Wayne Coyne invites quorum to Hawaiian Don's for drinks.
June 11: 2010 annual meeting of the U.S. Conference of Mayors convenes in Oklahoma City. Each attendee receives $20 in Taco Bell coupons and a MAPS to the city.
June 20: In an upset, Sims storms from the back of the pack to win the 2010 U.S. Open at Pebble Beach.

June 24: Oklahoma City Thunder pick Kentucky Derby winner Lookin' At Lucky in the NBA draft, citing the need for addi¬tional speed and power on the inside.
July 4: Mass transit enthusiasts, impatient for commuter rail, build giant Brio wooden train to run from N.W. 63rd and Classen to the Ford Center.
July 27: Rep. Mary Fallin and Attorney General Drew Edmondson win their party primaries for governor.
Aug. 30: Seattle newspapers become upset when Clay Bennett purchases a cup of Seattle's Best Coffee at Sea-Tac Airport and takes it on a plane to OKC.
Sept. 4: OU kicks off against Utah State. Bob Stoops holds press conference to turn down Notre Dame, Florida and USC jobs.

Sept. 30: Barack Obama gives historic speech. In other news, tree falls in the woods but no one is there to hear it.
Oct. 4: Jupiter explodes into blue dwarf star. Because space exploration budget was spent on Iraq War, earthlings are not in a position to receive message from David Bowman and HAL.
Oct. 16: Oklahoma Legislature goes into special session, will honor Confederate script and Monopoly money to balance state budget.
Oct. 28: Earthquake swallows Harrah.

Nov. 2: Mary Fallin elected governor of Oklahoma. Tim Tebow cries. Congress evenly divided. Dan Boren announces he will be sworn in as an independent.
Nov. 19: Oakland Raiders QB Sam Bradford, injured in win against Denver, is cast as Linus in the Broadway revival of "You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown."
Dec. 12: Freak snowstorm hits Oklahoma City. Mike Morgan is carried away by a yeti.
Dec. 31: Local anchors announce, "There are only 17,304 hours until the Mayan Calendar runs out." Ticker to run next to weather warning map for next two years.
Gaddie, a Norman resident, is a professor of political science at the University of Oklahoma.
 
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