The TV comedy series "Community" takes place on the sleepy campus of a community college. It features the hijinks of seven misfits who are older and weirder than their fellow students. In one episode, an inept female security guard chases the lead character, Jeff, hoping to catch and cite him for a farcical misdemeanor. As she races along, shouting for him to stop, she takes out her can of pepper spray and shoots several streams in his direction. The cloud of noxious stuff doesn't reach him, but she runs face-first into it as she continues her pursuit. It irritates her eyes and forces her to halt. Later, in telling her associate what happened, she says she was the victim of "self-inflicted friendly fire." I worry that you'll soon be tempted to carry out a metaphorical version of that, Capricorn. Please don't.