Least Competent Criminals

Not Ready for Prime-Time Crime: (1) Jacob Collins, 28, was arrested in April and charged with burglary of Matlack's Hometown Pharmacy in Landisville, N.J., despite the fact that the medicine he stole was probably by mistake. Police said they were almost certain Collins was after the painkiller "Oxycontin" but instead swiped a supply of "Oxybutynin," which treats overactive bladder. (2) On the other hand, Sean Almond, 43, was charged on the same day as Collins for allegedly robbing the Kangaroo Mart on Wilroy Road in Suffolk, Va., and could have used some Oxybutynin. Almond was caught immediately after the robbery because his getaway was delayed. He was spotted in a nearby alley, where he had been overcome by a sudden urge to relieve himself.