Wednesday 19 Jun
 
 

The ABCs of Death

Suspense novelist Jeffery Deaver once praised the short-story format, writing that the minimal time investment on the part of the reader allows the writer to get away with endings he or she cannot in the long form. In other words, the writer can be meaner, more devious. He's absolutely right, and the theory applies wholesale to The ABCs of Death, more or less a horror anthology depicting "26 ways to die."
06/19/2013 | Comments 0

Ninja III: The Domination

Don't ask why Ninja III: The Domination begins with a ninja assault on a municipal golf course. Just be grateful it does. You also may wonder why its sex scene employs a can of V8: Don't question it. Just lie back and enjoy it.
06/14/2013 | Comments 0

Lifeforce

Tobe Hooper got a raw deal. The director of horror hits The Texas Chain Saw Massacre and Poltergeist didn't deserve to be sent to movie jail for 1985's Lifeforce. It's a well-crafted, well-intentioned work that was mismarketed and misunderstood, losing a bundle of money and soon sending Hooper into the lands of episodic television and direct-to-video features.
06/14/2013 | Comments 0

Dead Souls

With Dead Souls, we can prove something about the Chiller cable network's original features that Remains could not: Source material is not to blame for their pervasive generic nature — it's the economy, stupid.
06/11/2013 | Comments 0

The Philadelphia Experiment

There's a theory about remakes that perhaps Hollywood should stop remaking good movies and instead remake the bad ones, so that they may be improved. The problem with that theory is one runs the risk of the remake being bad, too. Case in point: The Philadelphia Experiment.
06/12/2013 | Comments 0
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Science Fiction

In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale


None January 17th, 2008

inthenameoftheking

Reviewer's grade: D

 

This latest creation from Germany's Dr. Fecal, Uwe Boll, lives down to its mastermind's reputation as the worst movie director currently at work. Boll is the black hole of filmmakers "” if a good idea comes near his orbit, it gets consumed in a giant suck and is never seen again.

 

Okay, plot: A king's nephew (Matthew Lillard, "Scream") enlists the aid of an evil magician (Ray Liotta) to kill the king (Burt Reynolds), but a village farmer (Jason Statham, "The Transporter") links up with a good magician (John Rhys-Davies) to foil the plot. Bet you never came across that one before. Ron Perlman, Leelee Sobieski, Claire Forlani and Kristanna Loken round out what would be a worthwhile cast in any other movie, but just get lost in the humiliating lousiness of this badly directed, edited, costumed, lit, photographed and scored tub of bilge water.

 

Even Boll admits that this picture shouldn't be compared to a good movie, like "The Lord of the Rings." He says it's more like "Eragon," which also stunk up the theater. PG-13

 

"”Doug Bentin

 
  • Currently 3.5/5 Stars.
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