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Oklahoma senator worries about menacing microchips


Gazette staff February 22nd, 2007

Danger! Danger, Will Robinson! If only Robby the Robot were with us now. It appears we face a threat from One Step Beyond " at any moment, a microchip could be implan...

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Danger! Danger, Will Robinson! If only Robby the Robot were with us now. It appears we face a threat from One Step Beyond " at any moment, a microchip could be implanted in us, according to a state lawmaker. Then, well, mind control is next.

 

But, have no fear. State Sen. Brian Crain, R-Tulsa, has the remedy that has served us so well in this Legislature: a new law.

 

According to a recent article in The Oklahoman, Crain was slow to warm up to the idea of legislating against this kind of technological surveillance, but has come full circle.

 

"Initially, I thought this was a somewhat extremist viewpoint "¦ almost a Black Ops conspiracy that you watch on TV or something," Crain reportedly said. "But the more I got into it, the more I recognized that this could potentially become an issue later on in this century. This is the opportunity for technology to take control if we don't monitor it."

 

Indeed. Crain's bulwark against the alien Merakians or the Big Brother, Brave-New-World-Order is his proposed law, Senate Bill 47. It states, "No person may require an individual to undergo the implanting of a microchip."

 

But the bill goes beyond merely banning the implantation of Borg devices in Oklahomans. It levies a fine, according to the text of the bill. If menacing Wammadammadorians land a galactic cruiser within Oklahoma state lines, shout "Seize him!" and fall upon an unsuspecting Okie, implanting one of those microchip probes in his buttocks, then those interplanetary evildoers really have got it coming.

 

"The State Department of Health may impose a fine not to exceed Ten Thousand Dollars ($10,000.00) on any person who violates this act," the bill states. "Each day of continued violation shall constitute a separate offense."

Dang. That ought to turn those 'dorians gray (with fear).

 

"It seemed to be a solution in search of a problem," said Sen. Andrew Rice, D-OklahomaCity.

 

Sen. Patrick Anderson, R-Enid, also voted against it.

 

"I don't think it's an issue we are truly facing in this society," Anderson said.

 

Fine. Call him, mad, mad! But won't we all be sorry when the three-headed radiation eaters from Rigel arrive and implant those chips in all our buttocks. Then you'll see.

 
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