Reviewer's grade: D+
I still remember the stretch of Interstate 44 I was driving on in 1995 when the news came over the radio waves that the animated classic "Speed Racer" was due to make the jump (cue the Mach-5 sound effect) to the movies, with Johnny Depp in the lead and Nicolas Cage as long-lost brother Racer X.
Oh, what might have been, because oh, the pileup that is the Wachowski brothers' vision. With an almost complete reliance on green-screen effects that make the film look like it took place in the Internet world of Second Life, the film stalls 10 minutes in.
I can understand why a young whippersnapper like up-and-comer Emile Hirsch signed on to a big-budget project like this, but can Susan Sarandon's electricity bill really be that high? Sure, it looks cool, but as your mother told you, looks aren't everything (even in this case). —Rod Lott