Reviewer's grade: B-
Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf) is an awkward, unpopular teenager. However, after buying an old Chevrolet Camaro that can turn into a robot several times larger than a car, Sam's fortunes experience a dramatic reversal as he is forced to save the world from a power-hungry robot named Megatron. In the process, Sam gets the girl of his dreams, learns the value of personal sacrifice, and becomes a conscientious citizen his parents can be proud of, blah blah blah.
What should have been solely a gleeful, pointless exercise in kick-ass CGI robot fights is sculpted by director MichaelBay into a messy phalanx of subplots that are meant to enhance the robotic melee with the spice of human sympathy, but generally just distract with the spice of human tedium. With a good-looking cast of humans and non-humans alike, "Transformers" is way too long at almost two-and-a-half hours, but is still a good enough time if you can ignore the director's attempt to make sense of it all. PG-13