Real Astrology

Supermodel Selita Ebanks is your role model. In accordance with the astrological omens, I recommend that you arrange for the kind of special treatment she enjoys as she's preparing for a runway show. ...

Real Astrology

I'm worried about your ability to sneak and fake and dissemble. These skills seem to have atrophied in you. To quote Homer Simpson, "You couldn't fool your own mother on the foolingest day of your lif...

Real Astrology

Would it be a wise idea for you to stage your own kidnapping and demand ransom money for your release? Should you appear on a reality TV show that will expose your intimate secrets to millions of view...

Real Astrology

It's my opinion that everyone has a duty to periodically check in with themselves to make sure they still are who they say they are. Over time, there's a tendency for all of us to fall into the habit ...

Real Astrology

Most of the time, life does not talk to you, writes Robert T. Kiyosaki in his book Rich Dad, Poor Dad. "It just sort of pushes you around. Each push is life saying, 'Wake up. There's something I want ...

Real Astrology

NASA scientist Richard Gross believes that the recent 8.8 earthquake in Chile was so strong that it shifted the planet's axis and shortened the length of the day. The amounts were relatively small -- ...

Real Astrology

I'm inclined to prophesy that in the days to come, you may be able to read the minds of people whose actions are critical to your success. I also suspect that you will know exactly what to do in o...

Real Astrology

In my role as moral sentinel, I strongly urge you not to watch "Telephone," the music video by Lady Gaga and Beyoncé. It epitomizes everything that's crazy-making about our culture: brilliantly execut...

Real Astrology

The odds are higher than usual that you'll encounter a future soul brother or soul sister in the coming weeks. Potential allies are gravitating toward you, even if neither they nor you are aware of it...

Real Astrology

In a library in Warsaw, there is a 1,000+-page memoir written by my great-great-great-great grandfather, Leon Dembowski, a close advisor to the last king of Poland. Someday I'll make a pilgrimage over...

Real Astrology

All but one of our planet's mountain ranges have been mapped: the Gamburtsev Mountains, which are buried under 2.5 miles of ice in Antarctica. Recent efforts to get a read on this craggy landscape, ai...

Real Astrology

There's no need for you to get a t-shirt that says, "Oh no, not another learning experience." According to my analysis of the astrological omens, you are not about to have an embarrassing stumble that...

Real Astrology

Some people are here on the planet to find success, while others are here to find themselves. In the big scheme of things, I'm not sure which category you fit into, Taurus. But I'm pretty sure that fo...

Real Astrology

Have you ever heard about how some all-night convenience stores blast loud classical music out into the parking lot in order to discourage drug dealers from loitering? In the coming days, use that pri...

Real Astrology

The Hebrew word chalom means "dream." In his book Healing Dreams, Marc Ian Barasch notes that it's derived from the verb "to be made healthy and strong." Linguist Joseph Jastrow says that chalom is re...