CFN
Gazette staff
When an organization needs to focus its vision, it might re-evaluate the mission statement with a tweaked adjective here and there. This exercise appears to be taking place among some state leaders who want to underscore Oklahoma’s reverence for The Man Upstairs.

CFN
Gazette staff
There’s a symbolic weight in being the first of anything, whether it’s the first man to orbit the Earth (Yuri Gagrin), the first man to walk on the moon (Neil Armstrong) or the first mooning of a man on earth (alas, history dropped the ball on recording that one).

CFN
Gazette staff
Is “checking in” the first thing you do upon arriving somewhere? Are you vying to usurp the current mayorship of your favorite coffee shop? If you know what that means, odds are you’re socially networked.

CFN
Gazette staff
When it comes to the fight against childhood obesity and bullying, the logical solutions might be to feed nutritional meals to kids and teach them the Golden Rule.

CFN
Gazette staff
This state is a veritable breeding ground for famous people, from Will Rogers to Garth Brooks (although we don’t claim Chris Gaines). And for general badassery, there’s Chuck Norris, who hails from south-central Oklahoma.

CFN
Gazette staff
CFN is as much a fan of an ample bosom as anyone, but evidently, a recently resigned employee in the press office of state Insurance Commissioner John Doak is a serious boob on the subject — at least judging by an otherwise-innocuous missive issued last week about a tornado preparedness summit.

CFN
Gazette staff
(In Chicken-Fried News’ best rock-star voice:) Oklahoma City, are you ready to get excited about a business seminar?

CFN
Gazette staff
You might look at the state Capitol and see falling limestone, grimy walls and corridors faintly pungent with the smell of ancient (and soon-to-beno-more) cigarette smoke. But one man’s rat warren is another man’s treasure.

CFN
Gazette staff
We get it: God loves Toby Keith.

CFN
Gazette staff
One-time Tulsan Gary Busey remains a favorite of gossip giant TMZ.

CFN
Gazette staff
All but one state will be divvying up more than $25 billion as part of a foreclosure fraud settlement involving the nation’s five largest banks. The lone state to go its own way?

CFN
Gazette staff
As “Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life” informed us, “Every sperm is sacred; every sperm is great. If a sperm is wasted, God gets quite irate.”

CFN
Gazette staff
Hey there, guy: You thinking about popping The Question tomorrow? Is your special lady a big fan of stuffing her yap full of heat lamp-preserved spaghetti?

CFN
Gazette staff

CFN
Gazette staff
Lots of press releases cross our desk. Recently, these titles least screamed “Stop the presses!”