Many a restless night, I’ve wondered what would happen if I were wearing a Batman T-shirt and awakened by a whispered line from “Field of Dreams,” and then while I was brushing my teeth, a floating head would appear, but I’d go about my business anyway and finish installing that stripper pole in the bedroom.

Now that we were tipped to local rock band Dr. Smith’s eight-minute, gotta-watch-it-all-twice video for “The Time Is Right,” I have the answer: A bespectacled man with a gray beard that splits into two would start playing his flute, whose notes would magically transport you to a dream world otherwise known as Teaze Dance & Fitness, 1112 N. Broadway, where the lithe, scantily clad ladies would perform around me in provocative slow motion and sometimes using boas, all of which the teenage me would have been totally into.



And then I’d probably have a pizza delivered. —Rod Lott