Neither a chain of spice stores nor a Food Network program, The Seasoning House is a bleak-as-nuclear-winter thriller set during the Balkan conflict of the 1990s. A deaf girl named Angel (Brit teen Rosie Day) is taken from her home by soldiers who shoot her mother dead.
Paul Schrader’s The Canyons opens and closes with a montage of abandoned movie theaters. For this film in particular, that choice strikes one as symbolic in several ways: not only as a comment on the state of the industry, but on the state of The Canyons itself. You’re unlikely to find many 2013 films this empty.
What's a director of classic musicals doing in science fiction? Making Saturn 3, one of the worst of the genre Hollywood made in the immediate post-Star Wars / Alien era. Stanley Donen (Singin' in the Rain) takes to it about as well as you'd expect; he's in over his head.
Military marksman Col. Jim McQuade (Gregory Hines, Running Scared) is called into top-secret duty to neutralize a surveillance robot gone haywire in San Francisco. It won't be easy, because for one thing, the android is undetectable from a human. For another, it has a built-in nuclear bomb that will detonate upon imminent threat.
I plead guilty: My friends and I have goofed around with a camcorder before and made stupid movies, but we were smart enough to know that no one outside ourselves would think they were funny. If only the makers of Caesar and Otto's Deadly Xmas realized the same.
If you love Sherlock like I love Sherlock, you might be interested in this filmed play showing tonight and tonight only: Danny Boyle’s Frankenstein.
To steal all the details from our own Gazette:
“It’s alive! It’s alive! National Theatre Live, to be exact, which presents the monster hit Frankenstein on theater screens at 7 p.m. tonight and tomorrow only at AMC Quail Springs Mall 24, Cinemark Tinseltown USA and Norman’s Hollywood Spotlight 14. Directed by Danny Boyle (127 Hours), this whacked-out adaptation stars Sherlock’s Benedict Cumberbatch and Dark Shadows’ Jonny Lee Miller. Visit fathomevents.com.”
It’s my understanding at the two switch roles midway through the play, which sounds like Something to See, provided you’re not seeing anything at deadCENTER, that is. —Rod Lott