Neither a chain of spice stores nor a Food Network program, The Seasoning House is a bleak-as-nuclear-winter thriller set during the Balkan conflict of the 1990s. A deaf girl named Angel (Brit teen Rosie Day) is taken from her home by soldiers who shoot her mother dead.
Paul Schrader’s The Canyons opens and closes with a montage of abandoned movie theaters. For this film in particular, that choice strikes one as symbolic in several ways: not only as a comment on the state of the industry, but on the state of The Canyons itself. You’re unlikely to find many 2013 films this empty.
What's a director of classic musicals doing in science fiction? Making Saturn 3, one of the worst of the genre Hollywood made in the immediate post-Star Wars / Alien era. Stanley Donen (Singin' in the Rain) takes to it about as well as you'd expect; he's in over his head.
Military marksman Col. Jim McQuade (Gregory Hines, Running Scared) is called into top-secret duty to neutralize a surveillance robot gone haywire in San Francisco. It won't be easy, because for one thing, the android is undetectable from a human. For another, it has a built-in nuclear bomb that will detonate upon imminent threat.
I plead guilty: My friends and I have goofed around with a camcorder before and made stupid movies, but we were smart enough to know that no one outside ourselves would think they were funny. If only the makers of Caesar and Otto's Deadly Xmas realized the same.
Wanna be in a music video? Then director Richard Farmer and singer/songwriter Luke Dick, both Okie vets, sure could use you and your aggression. They’re be shooting a vid for Dick’s new song, “Who Am I,” on Sept. 10 in the Film Exchange District.
The concept: beating the crap out of an automobile.
“I’ve always wanted to capture the sledgehammer tradition in a video in some sensational fashion, especially for such a bombastic tune,” said Dick in a press release. “Over dinner, I was telling Oklahoma entrepreneur Chip Fudge about the idea of a video with apocalyptic Okies bashing a car. Being such an ol’ gear head, he got a big smile on his face and said, ‘I want to be a part of that! What better place than the Film Exchange for a film event?’”
Sound like a plan? Here’s the deal: • Meet at 5:30 p.m. in the parking lot behind Joey’s Pizza, IAO Gallery and the Hart Building, in the 700 block of West Sheridan. • Donate $5 at the gate, benefiting Bikers Against Child Abuse. • Be 18 or older. • Dress in a letter jacket or a prom dress, and in skeleton makeup. • Read that last one again; you weren’t hallucinating. • Don’t worry — you’re in good hands. Farmer directed Gnarley Barkley’s “Run” video, after all. • And until then, enjoy this clip of Dick covering Lady Gaga’s “Paparazzi.” Hey, it worked for that kid in Edmond. —Rod Lott