I've literally waited 30 years to catch "Comin' at Ya!," a 3-D spaghetti Western whose R rating in 1981 made it impossible for the 10-year-old me to see in theaters. I'm kind of glad I didn't see it then or on home video, because seeing it at the Alamo in a brand-new, digitally restored cut has to be the best way.

With a minimum of dialogue — some 70 lines, according to actor/producer Tony Anthony — the action/adventure plays out a simple, standard revenge story of a guy (Anthony, "Treasure of the Four Crowns") searching for his kidnapped wife (Victoria Abril, "Tie Me Up! Tie Me Down!") amid the Old West. None of that matters compared to the best use of 3-D in cinema history, because every shot was designed specifically to break that fourth wall. So many things go right into the audience's collective face: bats, snakes, guns, flaming arrows, even a baby's bottom!

It would've made for one of the most memorable theatrical experiences of my life, if not for the bonehead who sat directly next to me. Before a frame even had flickered, he was extremely demanding to the waitress who hadn't yet had a chance to screw up. He then plopped back into the seat and stuck his elbow well into my side and left it there. He also burped openly, exhaled it, and not just once, but all through the next two hours. He slurped up two large Cokes before the opening credits were finished, licked the plastic container of his salad dressing clean, chewed pizza as if it were his last meal, laughed so loud it sounded forced, and generally acted as if he were alone in his living room.

Sadly, this behavior was not limited to this screening. All of the films I caught were rife with people like this, just not all wrapped into one miserable person. You'd think a film festival would attract people respectful, if not wholly reverent, of the filmgoing experience, but no. I guess these socially awkward ones don't get out much. As my friend who's attended many FFs since its inception said, "I'm completely over the whole audience. They've turned me off the whole thing. Way different than it was in the early days."

But again, "Comin' at Ya!": A re-release of the film is coming soon, starting in Texas, so hopefully Oklahoma City will be on its to-wow list. If so, you gotta go freak out your retinas. —Rod Lott