Letters to the Editor
The designers did a great job in the June 8 Oklahoma Gazette issue, especially on the spread for the Best of OKC entries.
Just remember: Be careful what you wish for. Parental guidance suggested.
8 Best Smart-Aleck and/ or Logic-Challenged Responses We Received in This Year’s Best of OKC Nominations:
1. Best place to have lunch: “gopworms”
2. Best sushi: “cattlemans” (lambfries pictured)
3. Best vegetarian or healthy menu options: “yuck”
4. Best meal under 10 bucks: “lowes”
5. Best place for a cheap date: “The back seat of my car”
6. Best dance club: “buffalo wings”
7. Best place to take out-of-towners: “motel 8”
8. Best place to have cosmetic procedures performed: “You’re way too fucking RICH!!, don’t do it its evil”
1. “Keep your shades on while you eat, and you won’t see the meat juice spurting out onto your clothes as you attempt to pack this wondrous burger into your mouth.”
2. “No more squeezing on tomatoes or thumping melons!”
3. “‘Have your own testicle festival and pair a couple …’ she said. … Pull on your eatin’ pants and get out there.”
4. “The owners have it hanging, otherwise the servers would be playing it all the time.”
5. “Sausage comes in every shape, size and flavor.”
6. “All right, so you worked hard and took off that holiday weight. Good! That means that you can chomp on some nuts.”
7. “After a couple of bites your breathing gets labored.”
8. “A woman at the table next to us was shrieking with delight every few minutes.”
9. “(It) slaps that sucker in between a 12-inch bun.”
“They are yet undecided on whether a ‘special sauce’ will be offered
but hope to satisfy people with their particular desires.”
11. “They’re whipping out wieners in Bricktown … 5 p.m. to 2:30 a.m. every Thursday through Sunday.”
1. “This happening, especially on weekends and also during Sparks America Bike Week when multitudes of unknowing out of town visitors are fleeced by gun and badge, of their monetary possessions that you dare not question their treatment of these passerby travelers stopped in this small town or a ‘Mayberry’ RFD, shaky handed ‘Barney’ type will readily pull his gun and demand, that you move on down the road.”
2. “I could not believe it, there she was in shorts and a tight blouse, wanting me to wash and lube her car ($2.50).”
3. “Now that the GOVERNMENT has more or less forced HIGH DEFINITION
television on anyone who wants a television set, I want to know why we
still see murders, weather and sports (and rapes) on our televisions.”
4. “And if you let 200 more white male homosexual men raise another two black male children in about 50 years the BLACK RACE should be almost gone. FROM A BLACK WOMAN AND I KNOW YOU NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT THIS OR DID YOU? AND THAT IS THE WHOLE PLAN.”
5. “I don’t have a clue who that radio sports unenthusiast was — or what AM channel/station I was listening to.”
6. “People will come to Okla. so they can ‘hunt humans.’ Every NUTCASE in Oklahoma will be out on the streets and in the stores WITH A GUN! ARE YOU NUTS??”
“Simply put ‘Chung Li’ was the head of the world’s largest and
wealthiest criminal network. The MSM also knew all about him. Did you
ever hear the name ‘Chung Li’ other than from yours truly?”
8. “you might as well have made the subhead ‘Welcome to Sodom & Gomorrah!’ (which ALSO would’ve steered the ‘good’ readers away from the article).”
1. “It’s a fucking experience.” —Dustin Kuykendall, Left Foot Sally
2. “Some kid comes up to you after the show and asks and you’re like, ‘I have no fucking clue.’” —Josh James, Evergreen Terrace
3. “It’s because I grew up making no fucking money at all in rock ’n’ roll.” —Eddie Money (pictured, handsomely)
4. “We would hide our vehicle, because they always wanted to fuck your vehicle up when they were pissed at you.”—Merle Allin, The Murder Junkies
5. “It’s stuff that I was worried to put into Black Moth ... I thought it might be too fucked-up.”—Tom Fec, Black Moth Super Rainbow
6. “I can do punk, I can do flamenco, I can do mambo, anything I fucking want to do, anything that is ridiculous that pops into my head, and that’s the beauty of The Meatmen.”—Tesco Vee, The Meatmen
7. “But then tattoos got really popular, and you have people coming up to you in grocery stores — little old ladies saying, ‘I love your devil head. What does it say? Fuck?’” —Mike Riggs, Scum of the Earth
8. “Nobody who went to a Mötley Crüe show would say their concerts weren’t just big fucking parties.” —Riley Hahn, Soul Crisis
“It ain’t some shit where I got a catchy-ass beat and all you like is
the beat and the hook, and you don’t give a fuck about what I’m talking
about.” —Freddie Gibbs
10. “I was trying to write another song that everyone loved ... and it was just the most awful fucking shit you could ever write.” —Michael Benjamin Lerner, Telekinesis
11. “My hands were up over my head and I blurted out, ‘Whoa, that’s fucking ridiculous.’”—Carolyn Wonderland
12. “That’s my old shit now. That’s fucked up.” —Ben Folds
1. Fukola Cola
2. Rat Bastard
3. Avery Bug Barf
4. Squamscot Maple Cream
5. Avery Dog Drool
6. Blenheim Not As Hot
7. Freaky Dog Grrrape
8. Avery Kitty Piddle
9. Foxon Park Diet Gassosa
10. Rejuvenizer from the Scary People
11. Avery Monster Mucus
12. Love Potion No. 69 Pink
1. Alfredo’s Mexican Cafe, $92.40
2. On the Border Mexican Grill & Cantina, $75.70
1. “Going to bed soon, anything I need to know?” Aug. 8
2. “wakeup call requested for 4:30AM to fly back home to #OKC tomorrow, anything i need to know?” Aug. 8
3. “going to #Canada soon, anything I need to know?” Aug. 6
4. “going to bed soon, anything i need to know?” July 20
5. “going to bed soon, anything i need to know?” July 18
6. “going to bed soon, anything i need to know?” July 17
7. “going to bed soon, anything i need to know?” July 16
8. “going to bed soon, anything i need to know?” July 15
9. “going to bed soon, anything @texconway needs to know?” July 14
10. “going to bed soon, anything i need to know?” July 11
1. Arctic Monkeys, “Don’t Sit Down ’Cause I’ve Moved Your Chair”
2. Kyle Andrews, “Lazer Tag with Imaginary Friends”
3. Broncho, “Can’t Get Past the Lips”
4. Gang Gang Dance, “Adult Goth”
5. Morrissey, “Action Is My Middle Name”
6. Peter Murphy, “I Spit Roses”
7. The Vaccines, “Post Break-Up Sex”
8. The Real Tuesday Weld, “(I Always Kill) The Things I Love”
9. Stepdad, “My Leather, My Fur, My Nails”
10. Make Out, “I Don’t Want Anybody That Wants Me”
11. Teddybears featuring The Flaming Lips, “Crystal Meth Christian”
“Ragtime,” Lyric Theatre
BEST USE OF MULTIPLE ZIPPERS
“Bye Bye Birdie,” Lyric Academy
“Through the Cracked Mirror,” The Stage Door in Yukon
727 N.W. 23rd A small pleasure of life is the uplift from the aroma of a great cup of coffee. Nowadays, we all need to slow down a bit, but who can after stopping at Cuppies & Joe for that needed caffeine boost to get us on our way? Captivatingly cool, Cuppies & Joe’s cupcakes are intensely flavored. By the way, their coffee is roasted by Elemental Coffee Roasters, a local company.
2. Java Dave’s, several metro locations
3. The Red Cup, 3122 N. Classen Blvd. Worth mentioning: Gray Owl Coffee, Coffee Slingers
several metro locations The cock crows when the light rouses, and at Jimmy’s Egg, the food starts pouring out of the kitchen at 6 a.m. and does not stop until 2 p.m. Whether it’s the traditional bacon and over-easy eggs, or an omelet packed with everything but the kitchen sink, there is so much on the menu that some patrons eat there daily. This local family concept is now being franchised throughout the U.S.
2. Classen Grill, 5124 Classen Circle
3. La Baguette Bistro, 7408 N. May Worth mentioning: The Diner, Seven47
530 N.W. 23rd Anybody up for lunch? Then hustle on over to Big Truck Tacos, where it only takes one visit to understand what all the fuss is about. The owners, who brought along years of experience and know-how, have managed to maintain the high standards of the food they cook, yet have a blast doing it.
2. Irma’s Burger Shack, 1035 N.W. 63rd and 1120 Classen Drive
3. Saturn Grill, 6432 Avondale Drive and 4401 W. Memorial Worth mentioning: City Bites , Coolgreens
several metro locations It’s a chow-down with Louie’s Grill & Bar’s best-selling golden fried pickles and boneless chicken wings. Makes one wonder: Where in the world did they find those fine feathered friends with no bones? End your search for lip-smacking apps by stopping by any one of the metro’s several Louie’s locations.
2. Republic Gastropub, 5830 N. Classen Blvd.
3. Deep Fork, 5418 N. Western Worth mentioning: Rococo Restaurant & Fine Wine, Bolero Tapas Bar & Restaurant
several metro locations The undisputed prince of pizza in the metro area, Hideaway is your pick for perfect pie. Everything that goes on its yummy menu is top-notch, and locals eat up the friendly service and casual ambience. Hideaway is one of Oklahoma’s least pretentious, yet most ambitious fleet of restaurants, with locations throughout the metro, including the latest in Automobile Alley.
2. The Wedge Pizzeria, 4709 N. Western and 230 N.E. First
3. Upper Crust Wood Fired Pizza, 5860 N. Classen Blvd. Worth mentioning: Humble Pie, Joey’s Pizzeria
Best burgers: IRMA’S BURGER SHACK
1035 N.W. 63rd and 1120 Classen Drive Irma’s is the hands-down winner for the best damn hamburger in town. Find the old gal, who is actually fictitious, at two locations. Keep your shades on while you eat, and you won’t see the meat juice spurting out onto your clothes as you attempt to pack this wondrous burger into your mouth. Its No Name Ranch beef has become mandatory for some.
2. Johnnie’s Charcoal Broiler, several metro locations
3. Nic’s Grill, 1201 N. Pennsylvania Worth mentioning: S & B’s Burger Joint, The Cow, Calf-Hay
several metro locations All hail the king! This classic concept has managed to stay on top of the heap of all the blockbuster barbecue joints. When we want something, we want it now! And what we want is barbecue. The food at Earl’s includes mouthwatering grilled chicken, juicy burgers and baked beans.
2. Iron Starr Urban Barbeque, 3700 N. Shartel
3. Van’s Pig Stand, several metro locations Worth mentioning: Swadley’s Bar-B -Q, Steve’s Rib
Best sandwiches: CITY BITES
several metro locations At City Bites, it is certainly hard to imagine a better sandwich. You voters agreed, and patrons have made it a destination for years. The four Blevins brothers, Mark, Brad, Gary and Eric, have been slapping those phenomenal sandwiches together since 1986. Some prefer dessert first and never miss nibbling on the cookies and brownies.
2. Someplace Else, A Deli & Bakery, 2310 N. Western
3. Saturn Grill, 6432 Avondale Drive and 4401 W. Memorial Worth mentioning: ND Foods, Hobby’s Hoagies
Best steaks: CATTLEMEN’S STEAKHOUSE
1309 S. Agnew Cattlemen’s Steakhouse stays packed day after day with hungry customers cutting into the thick, juicy steaks. Inarguably the mother ship of steakhouses in Oklahoma, this award-winning restaurant has a menu with a taste for adventure and is the city’s crème de la crème for beef. It’s a little schlep to get to Cattlemen’s, but the drive is certainly worth it. Start out with the lamb fries. Happily, nothing has changed.
2. Boulevard Steakhouse, 505 S. Boulevard in Edmond
3. RED Prime Steak, 504 N. Broadway Worth mentioning: Ranch Steak house, Junior’s
4318 N. Western All sushi appetites lead to none other than Sushi Neko, where the fare is impeccable and created with ultimate precision. The chefs maintain a highvoltage charge with their sushi rolls, along with dizzying menu items such as jumbo shrimp, curry udon and salmon. This first-rate place has been around long enough to know just how to make us swoon.
2. Tokyo Japanese Restaurant, 7516 N. Western
3. In the Raw Sushi, 575 S. University, Norman and 200 S. Oklahoma Worth mentioning: Pachinko Parlor, Saii Asian Bistro
Best seafood: PEARL’S OYSTER BAR
5641 N. Classen Blvd. Pearl’s Oyster Bar has done it again. Think “seafood,” and Pearl’s pops up. This is a real sweet spot with chefs who are comfortable in the cuisine. (You’ll never find a stinky piece of fish here!) Fantasies start with oysters and everything from the sea. Drool over the weekend New Orleans brunch favorites in this decades-old institution.
2. Sushi Neko, 4318 N. Western
3. Rococo Restaurant & Fine Wine, 2824 N. Pennsylvania and 12252 N. May Worth mentioning: Crabtown, The Shack Sea food and Oyster Bar Best vegetarian or healthy menu options
6475 Avondale Drive and 14201 N. May It’s easy to eat healthy when there are so many delicious options. Want hearts of palm on that salad? You got it! Toasted pecans in the wrap? No problem! Whether ordering off the diverse menu or building your own meal, it’s obvious the staff at Coolgreens goes for quality. And for you veggies out there, get your protein fix with the tofu or chickpeas.
2. The Earth Cafe and Deli, 750 Asp, Norman
3. Picasso Cafe, 3009 Paseo Worth mentioning: The Red Cup, Matthew Kenney OKC
Best comfort food: CHEEVER’S CAFE
2409 N. Hudson You voters must like your comfort with a bit of class. The gorgeous Cheever’s, in a renovated flower shop, turns out comfy favorites (like a chicken-fried steak), but does so in style. A typical greasy spoon, this is not. And if your idea of comfort veers more toward the healthy, fear not: Cheever’s has you covered with salads and lighter fare.
2. Ann’s Chicken Fry House, 4106 N.W. 39th
3. Iron Starr Urban Barbeque, 3700 N. Shartel Worth mentioning: Mama E’s Soul Food, Cajun King
Best meal under 10 bucks: BIG TRUCK TACOS
530 N.W. 23rd Who needs Taco Bell to eat like a (broke) king when you have Big Truck? It’s open late, it’s cheap (without needing to clarify it’s using actual beef) and it’s delicious. The only hard part about eating at Big Truck is deciding if you want to try the 5th Amendment. We say go for it. It’s not like it’s going to set your bank account back too much.
2. Louie’s Grill & Bar, several metro locations
3. Cafe 7, 14101 N. May Worth mentioning: Saturn Grill, City Bites
Best locally made beer: BRICKTOWN BREWERY
1 N. Oklahoma Bricktown Brewery has been in the beer-brewing game the longest, and you voted it the best. The brewery and restaurant, a stalwart of Bricktown businesses, recently started updating its look, food and even that favorite beer. Lots of changes are in store at this spot, so head there to try out the new selections.
2. COOP Ale Works, 1124 N.W. 51st
3. Choc Beer Worth mentioning: Mustang Brewery, Coach’s Bar & Grill
Best cocktails: PROHIBITION ROOM
Well, this one’s bittersweet. Like Old Yeller, sometimes the things you love the most leave you (although, hopefully, there was no frothing at the mouth at Prohibition Room). That’s right: As of this writing, Prohibition Room is closed, with no definite plans of reopening. Now we have the sads. We loved the pitchers of Prohibition Tea and classic cocktails that made us feel like Don Draper.
2. Ludivine, 805 N. Hudson
3. Blu Fine Wine & Food, 201 S. Crawford, Norman Worth mentioning: The Lobby Bar, Tramps
Best desserts: LA BAGUETTE BAKERY & CAFE
several metro locations You planted some sugar on La Baguette Bakery & Cafe. From delectable cakes to perfect pastries baked in Norman, La Baguette has been creating indulgent desserts since 1984. And you don’t need to trek down south to sample the goodness; La Baguette’s desserts can be found in restaurants and hotels across the metro.
2. Sara Sara Cupcakes, 7 N.W. Ninth
3. Cuppies & Joe, 727 N.W. 23rd Worth mentioning: Nonna’s Euro-American Ristorante and Bar, Sugar.
Photos by Shannon Cornman, Mark Hancock and Lindsey Cooper