CFN
Gazette staff
Lots of press releases cross our desk. Recently, these titles least screamed “Stop the presses!”
Tuesday 18 Jun
OKG Newsletter
Topic: Chicken Fried News
PR BS
Isn't that the reality show where she tries to eat 100 donuts a day for 100 days?
CFN
Gazette staff
Lots of press releases cross our desk. Recently, these titles least screamed “Stop the presses!”
In the jailhouse now
Well, that’s one way to celebrate the Fourth of July
CFN
Gazette staff
Last week in Norman, a 50-year-old man pleaded guilty to conspiracy to sell a dead bald eagle and its feathers, according to The Norman Transcript.
Nom, nom, nom
Well, folks, we did it: We put our minds (or should we say stomachs?) to it, ate hard and have achieved our goals. That’s right: We have the fastest-growing waistlines in the nation!
CFN
Gazette staff
Let’s all pat each other on the back (fat). (It’s not like we can pat our own back, what with our chubby little arms that are too busy holding chili cheeseburgers. With ranch.)
Honky top
How you like him now?
CFN
Gazette staff
Toby Keith’s secret to success? Blame it on the worm.Forbes magazine — that’s the one about the money, y’all — last month placed the Oklahoman on its annual list of the World’s 25 Highest-
Two guys, one beer
Guess they weren't the type to share
CFN
Gazette staff
We here at Chicken-Fried News generally abide by the assumption that most people can handle someone else eating the last piece of cake or an unclaimed schnitzel that had been sitting in the fridge without resorting to a physical altercation.
Do as I say
...not as I...collect federal farm subsidies
CFN
Gazette staff
There’s nothing like rank hypocrisy by elected officials to inspire confidence in one’s government. When people in control of the government start talking about how bad the government is, one begins to fall into an uh-oh-I-tried-to-divide-by-zero vortex in which self-awareness is nonexistent.
Kern: Go back to the closet
She was kinda asking for it with that book title.
CFN
Gazette staff
When Bob Dylan said they’ll stone you when you’re trying to keep your seat, he may have been talking about state Rep. Sally Kern, R-Oklahoma City.
About that lockout …
...because you won't like The Beard when he's angry.
CFN
Gazette staff
The NFL’s lockout ended last week, but we’ve only just begun for the NBA. And good luck interviewing any Oklahoma City Thunder players through the home office.
Bad egg
Stamped with the KKK's seal of approval
CFN
Gazette staff
So let’s look at the possible goals of Ada’s former Beautification Committee: plant some flowers, decorative street lights, keep black people out, public art. Wait. Back up. One of those seems decidedly less beautifying and slightly more … racist.
His cups runneth over
'Bout how much you think this thing's worth?
CFN
Gazette staff
An Oklahoma man got some good news during an “Antiques Roadshow” taping in Tulsa when one of the PBS show’s appraisers valued a set of Chinese rhinoceros-horn cups to be worth between $1 million and $1.5 million.
