Saturday 12 Jul
 
 

 

OKG Newsletter


Topic: The Asylum

Mega Python vs. Gatoroid

Debbie Gibson vs. Tiffany vs. my time and patience


Sci-Fi

Rod Lott
Most of the creatures on tap in "Mega Python vs. Gatoroid" are CGI creations, yet the filmmakers didn't even bother to insert them in the parts of the frame where the actors were looking.
 
Monday, June 20, 2011

Evil Things

What 'Evil' lurks in the heart of man? Roll the tape!


Horror

Rod Lott
Hope you like found-footage movies, because the enormous return on a minuscule budget in the cases of two "Paranormal Activity" entries will guarantee many more. One of the latest, although skipping theaters, is "Evil Things."
 
Tuesday, July 5, 2011

All for none...

The new ‘Musketeers’ gets mockbustered.

Never to let a Hollywood blockbuster go un-ripped off, The Asylum is at it again. After attempting (and probably at time succeeding) to fool DVD renters with “Transmorphers” (not “Transformers”), “Paranormal Entity” (not “Paranormal Activity”) and “Battle of Los Angeles” (not “Battle: Los Angeles”), those mockbuster folks get ready to carve themselves a piece of that swordsman pie.

With “Resident Evil” director Paul W.S. Anderson’s action-amped but period-appropriate remake of “The Three Musketeers” hitting theaters Oct. 21, The Asylum Home Entertainment responds with “3 Musketeers” on Oct. 25.

But, oh, how to tell them apart? The expensive one stars Orlando Bloom, Milla Jovovich and Oscar winner Christoph Waltz; The Asylum one stars (apologies to the word “stars”) Alan Rachins, David Chokachi and someone or something named XIN.

Here’s your official plot synopsis: “Alexandra D'Artagnan, junior NSA officer, uncovers a plot to assasinate (sic) the President of the United States and enlists the help of three infamous international spies to stop the threat.” No trailer yet, but you’ve been warned. —Rod Lott

by Rod Lott 07.27.2011 3 years ago
at 12:50 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
 
 
 

Shark Week

It bites. Hard.


Thriller

Rod Lott
What do you get when a prosecutor, a police officer, a journalist, an accountant, a judge, a bodyguard, a paramedic and one unemployed junkie skank are drugged, shackled and forced to play a game of survival involving man-eating sharks? The Asylum Home Entertainment's Shark Week, not to be confused with the Discovery Channel programming people look forward to.
 
Thursday, August 23, 2012

Bigfoot

Toes the line of Syfy stupidity.


Sci-Fi

Rod Lott
At least Bigfoot does not waste viewers’ time in showing them Bigfoot. They have to wait one minute, tops, so if that’s all you ask of this Asylum release that premiered recently on Syfy, you’re golden.
 
Friday, August 31, 2012
 
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