Monday 28 Jul
 
 
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OKG Newsletter


Topic: christoph waltz

All for none...

The new ‘Musketeers’ gets mockbustered.

Never to let a Hollywood blockbuster go un-ripped off, The Asylum is at it again. After attempting (and probably at time succeeding) to fool DVD renters with “Transmorphers” (not “Transformers”), “Paranormal Entity” (not “Paranormal Activity”) and “Battle of Los Angeles” (not “Battle: Los Angeles”), those mockbuster folks get ready to carve themselves a piece of that swordsman pie.

With “Resident Evil” director Paul W.S. Anderson’s action-amped but period-appropriate remake of “The Three Musketeers” hitting theaters Oct. 21, The Asylum Home Entertainment responds with “3 Musketeers” on Oct. 25.

But, oh, how to tell them apart? The expensive one stars Orlando Bloom, Milla Jovovich and Oscar winner Christoph Waltz; The Asylum one stars (apologies to the word “stars”) Alan Rachins, David Chokachi and someone or something named XIN.

Here’s your official plot synopsis: “Alexandra D'Artagnan, junior NSA officer, uncovers a plot to assasinate (sic) the President of the United States and enlists the help of three infamous international spies to stop the threat.” No trailer yet, but you’ve been warned. —Rod Lott

by Rod Lott 07.27.2011 3 years ago
at 12:50 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
 
 
 

Water for Elephants

Dung for you.


Drama

Rod Lott
What seemed exciting in Sara Gruen's best-selling novel plays flat in the painful "Water for Elephants," a wretchedly written and overwrought drama that leaps to the top of my list of the year's worst films.
 
Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Carnage

Can’t we all just get along? Roman Polanski’s amusing comedy of manners, ‘Carnage,’ answers in the negative.


Comedy

Rod Lott
Given the tumultuous and tragic nature of director/child rapist Roman Polanski’s life, it’s no surprise he rarely touches comedy. Until the new “Carnage,” only 1967’s “The Fearless Vampire Killers” and 1986’s flop “Pirates” gunned for laughs.
 
Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Carnage

Can’t we all just get along? Roman Polanski’s amusing comedy of manners, ‘Carnage,’ suggests not.


Comedy

Rod Lott
Given the tumultuous and tragic nature of director/child rapist Roman Polanski’s life, it’s no surprise he rarely touches comedy. Until the recent “Carnage,” only 1967’s “The Fearless Vampire Killers” and 1986’s flop “Pirates” gunned for laughs.
 
Friday, March 9, 2012

The Three Musketeers

All for one, and all that jazz.


Action

Rod Lott
All these centuries, who knew Alexandre Dumas' most famous novel needed ninjas? At least I think that's what you could call the hooded warrior who emerges from the water with weapon at the ready at the opening of The Three Musketeers, Hollywood's latest in a long line of adaptations of the 1884 classic, this ship steered with a steampunk touch by Paul W.S. Anderson, whose adventure credits include Death Race, Alien vs. Predator and Mortal Kombat.
 
Monday, March 12, 2012
 
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