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OKG Newsletter


Topic: Rod Lott
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Rest of the Best of OKC

Finally, food pornography!

See, you people love your lists and clamor for more. Shockingly, we didn’t quite cover it all last week, despite running the gamut from Best Coffee Shop to Best Person or Business to Follow on Social Media, so for the third year in a row, we’ve assembled some extras — the rest of the Best of OKC, if you will.

From people and places to the Gazette itself covering these last 52 weeks, we once more not-so-proudly present a handful of additional rankings, in an attempt to satiate your need to have everything numbered in a nice, orderly fashion, but not limited to five slots.

Just remember: Be careful what you wish for. Parental guidance suggested.

8 Best Smart-Aleck and/ or Logic-Challenged Responses We Received in This Year’s Best of OKC Nominations:

1. Best place to have lunch: “gopworms”

2. Best sushi: “cattlemans”  (lambfries pictured)

3. Best vegetarian or healthy menu options: “yuck”

4. Best meal under 10 bucks: “lowes”

5. Best place for a cheap date: “The back seat of my car”

6. Best dance club: “buffalo wings”

7. Best place to take out-of-towners: “motel 8”

8. Best place to have cosmetic procedures performed: “You’re way too fucking RICH!!, don’t do it its evil”


11 Best Lines from Our Food Articles That, Taken out of Context, Read Like Cheap Pornography:

1. “Keep your shades on while you eat, and you won’t see the meat juice spurting out onto your clothes as you attempt to pack this wondrous burger into your mouth.”

2. “No more squeezing on tomatoes or thumping melons!”

3. “‘Have your own testicle festival and pair a couple …’ she said. … Pull on your eatin’ pants and get out there.”

4. “The owners have it hanging, otherwise the servers would be playing it all the time.”

5. “Sausage comes in every shape, size and flavor.”

6. “All right, so you worked hard and took off that holiday weight. Good! That means that you can chomp on some nuts.”

7. “After a couple of bites your breathing gets labored.”

8. “A woman at the table next to us was shrieking with delight every few minutes.”

9. “(It) slaps that sucker in between a 12-inch bun.”

10. “They are yet undecided on whether a ‘special sauce’ will be offered but hope to satisfy people with their particular desires.”

11. “They’re whipping out wieners in Bricktown … 5 p.m. to 2:30 a.m. every Thursday through Sunday.”


8 Best Lines from Some Out-There Letters to the Editor We’re Not Printing:

1. “This happening, especially on weekends and also during Sparks America Bike Week when multitudes of unknowing out of town visitors are fleeced by gun and badge, of their monetary possessions that you dare not question their treatment of these passerby travelers stopped in this small town or a ‘Mayberry’ RFD, shaky handed ‘Barney’ type will readily pull his gun and demand, that you move on down the road.”

2. “I could not believe it, there she was in shorts and a tight blouse, wanting me to wash and lube her car ($2.50).”

3. “Now that the GOVERNMENT has more or less forced HIGH DEFINITION television on anyone who wants a television set, I want to know why we still see murders, weather and sports (and rapes) on our televisions.”

4. “And if you let 200 more white male homosexual men raise another two black male children in about 50 years the BLACK RACE should be almost gone. FROM A BLACK WOMAN AND I KNOW YOU NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT THIS OR DID YOU? AND THAT IS THE WHOLE PLAN.”

5. “I don’t have a clue who that radio sports unenthusiast was — or what AM channel/station I was listening to.”

6. “People will come to Okla. so they can ‘hunt humans.’ Every NUTCASE in Oklahoma will be out on the streets and in the stores WITH A GUN! ARE YOU NUTS??”

7. “Simply put ‘Chung Li’ was the head of the world’s largest and wealthiest criminal network. The MSM also knew all about him. Did you ever hear the name ‘Chung Li’ other than from yours truly?”

8. “you might as well have made the subhead ‘Welcome to Sodom & Gomorrah!’ (which ALSO would’ve steered the ‘good’ readers away from the article).”


12 Best Completely Gratuitous Uses of the F-Bomb Dropped Within Our Pages by Musicians:

1. “It’s a fucking experience.” —Dustin Kuykendall, Left Foot Sally

2. “Some kid comes up to you after the show and asks and you’re like, ‘I have no fucking clue.’” —Josh James, Evergreen Terrace

3. “It’s because I grew up making no fucking money at all in rock ’n’ roll.” —Eddie Money (pictured, handsomely)

4. “We would hide our vehicle, because they always wanted to fuck your vehicle up when they were pissed at you.”—Merle Allin, The Murder Junkies

5. “It’s stuff that I was worried to put into Black Moth ... I thought it might be too fucked-up.”—Tom Fec, Black Moth Super Rainbow

6. “I can do punk, I can do flamenco, I can do mambo, anything I fucking want to do, anything that is ridiculous that pops into my head, and that’s the beauty of The Meatmen.”—Tesco Vee, The Meatmen

7. “But then tattoos got really popular, and you have people coming up to you in grocery stores — little old ladies saying, ‘I love your devil head. What does it say? Fuck?’” —Mike Riggs, Scum of the Earth

8. “Nobody who went to a Mötley Crüe show would say their concerts weren’t just big fucking parties.” —Riley Hahn, Soul Crisis

9. “It ain’t some shit where I got a catchy-ass beat and all you like is the beat and the hook, and you don’t give a fuck about what I’m talking about.” —Freddie Gibbs

10. “I was trying to write another song that everyone loved ... and it was just the most awful fucking shit you could ever write.” —Michael Benjamin Lerner, Telekinesis

11. “My hands were up over my head and I blurted out, ‘Whoa, that’s fucking ridiculous.’”—Carolyn Wonderland

12. “That’s my old shit now. That’s fucked up.” —Ben Folds


1 Photo We Never Got the Chance to Run … Until Now:













12 Strange-Named Sodas You Can Buy at Pops in Arcadia:

1. Fukola Cola

2. Rat Bastard

3. Avery Bug Barf

4. Squamscot Maple Cream

5. Avery Dog Drool

6. Blenheim Not As Hot

7. Freaky Dog Grrrape

8. Avery Kitty Piddle

9. Foxon Park Diet Gassosa

10. Rejuvenizer from the Scary People

11. Avery Monster Mucus

12. Love Potion No. 69 Pink

2 Wholly Wholly Ironic and Perhaps Even Hypocritical Expenses from Rep. Randy Terrill’s Campaign Reports from December 2008 to May 2010:

1. Alfredo’s Mexican Cafe, $92.40

2. On the Border Mexican Grill & Cantina, $75.70









10 Inquisitive Tweets from @DanGordon:

1. “Going to bed soon, anything I need to know?” Aug. 8

2. “wakeup call requested for 4:30AM to fly back home to #OKC tomorrow, anything i need to know?” Aug. 8

3. “going to #Canada soon, anything I need to know?” Aug. 6

4. “going to bed soon, anything i need to know?” July 20

5. “going to bed soon, anything i need to know?” July 18

6. “going to bed soon, anything i need to know?” July 17

7. “going to bed soon, anything i need to know?” July 16

8. “going to bed soon, anything i need to know?” July 15

9. “going to bed soon, anything @texconway needs to know?” July 14

10. “going to bed soon, anything i need to know?” July 11


11 Songs from The Spy OKC’s Aug. 1 Playlist Whose Titles We’d Like to See Tackled as Topics on Kelly Ogle’s “My 2 Cents” Segment:

1. Arctic Monkeys, “Don’t Sit Down ’Cause I’ve Moved Your Chair”

2. Kyle Andrews, “Lazer Tag with Imaginary Friends”

3. Broncho, “Can’t Get Past the Lips”

4. Gang Gang Dance, “Adult Goth”

5. Morrissey, “Action Is My Middle Name”

6. Peter Murphy, “I Spit Roses”

7. The Vaccines, “Post Break-Up Sex”

8. The Real Tuesday Weld, “(I Always Kill) The Things I Love”

9. Stepdad, “My Leather, My Fur, My Nails”

10. Make Out, “I Don’t Want Anybody That Wants Me”

11. Teddybears featuring The Flaming Lips, “Crystal Meth Christian”


And now...Introducing Rest of Best of OKC’s Inaugural Local Theater Publicity Photo Awards!

BEST PHOTO THAT LOOKS LIKE IT COULD HAVE BEEN TAKEN AT FRONTIER CITY’S OLD WEST DRESS-UP BOOTH:













“Ragtime,” Lyric Theatre









BEST USE OF MULTIPLE ZIPPERS









“Bye Bye Birdie,” Lyric Academy


BEST CHOREOGRAPHY















“Through the Cracked Mirror,” The Stage Door in Yukon

by OKG Webmonkeys 09.30.2011 2 years ago
at 01:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
 
 
 

Shaft: The TV Movie Collection / The Man from U.N.C.L.E.: 8-Movie Collection

Get 'Shaft'ed and cry 'U.N.C.L.E.' with these TV sets.


Television series

Rod Lott
Richard Roundtree is there, and so is Isaac Hayes' iconic, Oscar-winning theme, but "Shaft: The TV Movie Collection" isn't quite the "Shaft" of the 1970's feature-film trilogy. The operative word there: "TV," which means little of the R-rated shenanigans that made the character so popular.
 
Friday, September 30, 2011

Killer Party

I'm dying to RSVP again.


Horror

Rod Lott
Immediately, I understood why 1986's "Killer Party" enjoys such a cult following: The unconventional slasher opens with a stereotypical flaming priest quoting "The Wizard of Oz" as he presides over a funeral. It's all a goof — part of a movie-within-a-movie-within-a-movie joke.
 
Monday, October 3, 2011

The Pee-wee Herman Show on Broadway

The secret word is 'fun.'


Comedy

Rod Lott
I must admit to being just a little disappointed in Paul Reubens' triumphant return as Pee-wee Herman — and on the Great White Way, no less — because I felt as if I had seen it before. In a way, I have, because this hit stage show resurrects many of the same skits and bits from where many of us got our first taste of Pee-wee: his 1981 stage show, which aired on HBO.
 
Monday, October 3, 2011

The Hour

Tick-tock and you don't stop. Or do you?


Television series

Rod Lott
All signs pointed to me liking "The Hour":
 
Monday, October 3, 2011

How to Make It in America: The Complete First Season

Like 'Entourage,' minus all the douchiness.


Television series

Rod Lott
"How to Make It in America" is HBO's Rodney Dangerfield: It gets no respect. As critics creamed over the tediously paced "Boardwalk Empire," this eight-episode wonder seemed to escape mass-media's gaze. I can understand why: Who wants to see a show about two guys trying to launch a line of jeans?
 
Monday, October 3, 2011

The Trip

Eat flay laugh.


Comedy

Rod Lott
Like the food its stars sample, “The Trip” isn’t for everyone’s tastes. Those who appreciate a subtle brand of humor that’s all about the details — in other words, British — should try it.
 
Wednesday, October 5, 2011

The Lost Future

It should be ‘Lost’ forever.


Sci-Fi

Rod Lott
Sean Bean's at the center of a critically acclaimed, made-for-television effort that has him and his crew using many an antiquating weapon, from swords to bows.
 
Wednesday, October 5, 2011

D is for ‘Do it’

Because this looks like one killer serving of alphabet soup.

At Fantastic Fest in Austin a couple weekends ago, the free T-shirt I was given upon check-in was for “The ABCs of Death,” a forthcoming anthology film with one nifty concept: 26 directors each taking on a letter of the alphabet, each shooting a short on the various ways we all may bite the dust, but hopefully won’t. You know, like A is for asphyxiation — that sort of thing.

They’ve gathered some cool directors from the world of indie horror, responsible for films including “Hobo with a Shotgun,” “RoboGeisha,” “We Are What We Are,”  “Tokyo Gore Police,” “Norwegian Ninja,”  “Deadgirl,” “The Reef,”  “TimeCrimes,” “A Serbian Film,” “House of the Devil” and many more — 25 in all.

Yep, 25. Because for the 26th, Drafthouse Films left the letter-T slot open to be filled via a contest. Now that the submissions have been collected, it’s up for the public to decide. Your quick vote — not “Like,” but the actual “vote” button, and be sure to verify that email so it counts! — will make someone a very happy camper.

My vote’s been cast for Shade Rupe’s “T Is for Trick,” partly because if it’s good enough for Clive Barker (who said “colour me impressed ... bloody good work”), it’s good enough for me and you. You can view all the submissions and vote at the official “ABCs of Death” site—Rod Lott


by Rod Lott 10.05.2011 2 years ago
at 03:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
 
 
 

‘Craft’y chapter

These boots were made for being featured on PBS.

When the next installment of PBS’ Emmy-nommed documentary series “Craft in America” premieres Oct. 17, it’ll feature an Oklahoma connection.

Guthrie’s own Lisa Sorrell will be among the four families featured on the “Family” episode, which aims to answer the question of whether talent is passed down from generation to generation. Sorrell is a bootmaker who opened her own business, Sorrell Custom Boots, customboots.net more than 15 years ago.

For more information, visit the “Craft in America” website

For a polar-opposite experience, Oklahoma City’s Lekeytha Dukes will appear on the Oct. 6 episode of “Judge Joe Brown.” She’s suing her brother, Randell Dukes, for $650. According to a CBS press release, the money was “for a loan the defendant used to promote a concert. Lekeytha says the defendant promised to repay her within a few days, but never did.  Randell says he lost money on the concert and doesn’t feel he owes the plaintiff because he baby sits her kids for free all the time.” —Rod Lott

by Rod Lott 10.05.2011 2 years ago
at 03:50 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
 
 
 
 
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