Next time, we’re thinking flowers. Or perhaps a polite hello.

(Madeline Hancock)
Madeline Hancock

Next time, we’re thinking flowers. Or perhaps a polite hello.

According to, a young woman was doing some routine car-cleaning at a Circle K in Edmond when a young man appeared to be waiting to use the vacuum.

But what happened next truly sucked.

He proceeded to make light, weird small talk, including personal questions.

The police report even says the Don Juan said, “You are the kind of girl for me.”

He then began to serenade her with a guitar he had with him, explaining he was a recent college graduate.

His performance ended with a show-stopper as he dropped his pants and paid tribute to her with his manhood. The finale included a —ahem — manual demonstration.

Surprisingly, the brief but memorable rendezvous ended with the woman quickly getting into her car and driving away. cited a police report saying the young man followed her for several miles. Perhaps he thought she was playing hard to get?

You might have gone the more traditional route, dude. Like dinner and a movie? Maybe meet for cocktails? Wait, not that kind of cocktail. We gave him points for originality, but only in the category of possible sexual harassment and a full-on assault on common sense.

But wait; there’s more: The woman had the presence of mind (and of smartphone) to take pictures, which helped lead police to the suspect and an ID.

Talk about cool under pressure. Hope you learned your lesson, man.

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