Chicken-Fried News: Gun waving heroes?

Just a few days before the election, Oklahoma County Republicans were treated to a visit by some real political heavyweights.

Mark and Patricia McCloskey, the wealthy St. Louis couple who have been charged with felonies after pointing their firearms at protesters marching down the private drive of their gated community, made an appearance Friday night. Fittingly, it was at a fundamentalist Baptist church. 

“The McCloskeys stood up to the mob, swallowed their fear, and defended their private property against an angry mob of hundreds. Their story is one of sheer courage that few people today possess,” according to the event listing on Eventbrite.

What they did was unnecessarily escalate a situation by pointing firearms at protesters who weren’t threatening them directly, according to Chicken Fried News. But what a prosecutor in Missouri considered felonious behavior is apparently endorsed by Oklahoma County Republican sheriff’s candidate Tommie Johnson III, who must have had to stifle waves of nausea over the McCloskeys’ horrendous trigger discipline to pander for votes. Other implicit endorsements were provided by Oklahoma County Commissioner Brian Maughan, Oklahoma County Court Clerk Rick Warren and Oklahoma County Clerk David Hooten.

For just ten American dollars, attendees could “hear the real story of what happens when only one party controls a city, rule of law is abandoned, and the left has their way,” which is a bad midway pitch, but the best one this city will get this fall since the Oklahoma State Fair was canceled due to the pandemic.

Also on site was the “Trump Trailer” in what may be among its final attempts to sell signs, flags and caps promoting a future that America hopefully will never see.

It is unknown as of press time whether Patricia brought her signature mustard-smeared shirt for private photos.

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