Chicken-Fried News: Primitive pirates

Chicken-Fried News: Green gobblin

You thought you were the king or queen of using your cool older cousin’s ID in high school, but you had nothing on these guys.

Bradley Irwin, Michael Laird and Tiffany Burghart were pulled over on the southside for swerving into oncoming traffic April 24, but this was no routine traffic stop. reported that police found “more than 100 car keys, 17 driver’s licenses and identification cards, five Social Security cards, 10 credit cards, income tax returns, ignition removal equipment and lock pick sets.”

Unsurprisingly, there was also weed, meth and prescription pills in the car. If you’re going to go on a burglary spree, you might as well go all-out, right?

The joy riders were arrested for “drug possession, possession of stolen property, possession of burglary tools and possession of a counterfeit ID,” according to

That’s right; only one fake ID. Amateurs. Everyone knows you have to have backups.

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