Oklahoma City ladies' swimsuit-wearing man faces exposure charges

Sometimes, we think people might do things just to make it into CFN. Case in point: Phillip John Ortega.

The 56-year-old Oklahoma City resident is accused of exposing himself to a woman. According to NewsOK.com, he was arrested Oct. 19 for allegedly doing so, in the 1700 block of N.W. Ninth Street.

Now, just showing one's junk isn't good enough to guarantee a CFN spot. Happens all the time. Like a good punch line, it's all in the delivery.

In that department, Ortega allegedly delivered. Says the victim, he was wearing makeup, panty hose and a pink, one-piece swimsuit when he approached and asked, "Where'd my friend go?" When she told him to make like a baby and head out, he reportedly pulled part of his swimsuit to the side, thereby releasing the hounds. Per the victim, he then picked up them there parts with one hand, shook them and said, "Hey, look at this."

CFN wonders if this would count for answering the question about the whereabouts of said friend, with visuals. Comedy pros would applaud this elaborate joke construction. Well-played! (For added comedic effect, include a perturbed Frankenstein-meets-Nick Nolte mug shot.) 

  • or