Don't have a spare ski mask or nylons hanging around when you've got a little late-night burgling on your mind? Why not try undies?
Yes, that's Chicken Fried News' tip of the day: Always wear clean underwear in case you end up burglarizing a fast-food restaurant.
That's what an intrepid suspect did when she allegedly burgled a Midwest City McDonald's early morning on July 27, according to NewsOK.com.
When a McD's employee noticed cash was missing from a register by the drive-through window, the restaurant manager gave a surveillance video a little look-see to discover who might be behind the missing money.
Here's where the skeevy skivvies come into play: The video showed a woman dressed all in black sporting what appeared to be a blond wig, gloves and " the crowning achievement of the disguise " what looked like underwear obscuring her face. The resourceful Ms. MacGyver had even pinned the undies in place with yellow paper clips.
Thanks to tips from the public, Midwest City Police Chief Brandon Clabes said police were led to Sharon Lain, 51.
The cops found Lain at her home, but she ordered them off her property. That didn't last long, however, as Lain herself was soon arrested on a trespassing complaint after it was discovered the house was condemned because it didn't have water service, police said. Is everyone following along?
The fuzz got a search warrant and found some interesting items inside Lain's abode: yellow paper clips, dark clothes and an elastic girdle. Oh, and a stash of drugs, including good ol' ganja and meth, according to Clabes. We're pretty sure the drugs did not come with any FDA-sanctioned Happy Meal.
As reported by NewsOK, Clabes said Lain admitted the incident (it wasn't the Hamburglar), explaining she'd been in McD's employ until about a month ago, but was fired. She also apparently told the cops she'd been given money from a friend to pay that pesky water bill, but had lost it at a casino. She said her late-night McDonald's adventure was committed in the hopes of taking the cash and turning it into big money (c'mon, big money!) at Remington Park.
For reasons unknown, this plan was flawed.
The hard-and-fast lesson from the failings of the alleged underwear burglar? If your grand scheme involves your undergarments acting as your saving grace, it might be time to rethink your life choices.
Lain was being held in the Midwest City slammer on complaints of burglary in the second degree, trespassing and possession of a controlled dangerous substance and paraphernalia.