Chicken-Fried News: Pot luck

Chicken-Fried News: Green gobblin
Edmond is going to pot. That is, if vandals have their way. A group of no-good thugs are breaking into cars, ringing doorbells and … defecating on doorsteps.

The latter has residents on the edge of their seats, wondering what kind of person would do such a thing, according to a story.

“That’s kind of disturbing. I don’t think normal people would do that,” Edmond resident Kevin Tran told the TV news outlet.

As investigators look for poop scoops, we here at the Gazette think we know exactly what kind of person would do that. (No, not Gazette food writers.) This case reeks of Kids These Days. Obviously the perps were relieving their grinding, oppressive boredom.

Our thoughts were echoed by Guillermo Silva, another resident who told that neighborhood crime increases during the summer months.

“Summer’s coming to an end, but it’s maybe kids goofing off and doing that kind of stuff,” he said.

Now that school is back in session, we also suspect the dung defiling gets flushed into the neighborhood’s past.