Alvin and the Chipmunks 

Reviewer's grade: F

 

Dave Seville (Jason Lee, TV's "My Name Is Earl") is a struggling songwriter with commitment issues. One lucky day, three inexplicably talking (Satanic possession?) chipmunks climb into Dave's muffin basket and take up residence in his apartment, where they eat cereal and poop on the couch (and then eat it). Dave discovers the chipmunks can sing, and so takes them to his old pal Ian (comedian David Cross), who owns a record company.

 

Naturally, since he's in the music business, Ian manipulates the chipmunks and drives a wedge between them and Dave, with the goal of sending their act on the road. Will Dave realize he loves his furry little rodent buddies, overcome his fear of commitment and win back his ex-girlfriend? You know he will, but chances are by the time it happens, you'll be ready to lobotomize yourself with a spit-sharpened candy cane.

 

Like Woody Woodpecker, the Chipmunks were not made to soothe nerves, but throw in bad acting, a lame plot and crummy jokes, and even sugared-up kids will get annoyed. PG

 

"?Mike Robertson

 

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