Chicken-Fried News: A Capitol story 


We at Chicken-Fried News can’t think of a better comparison of Gov. Mary Fallin and Lt. Gov. Todd Lamb than the young stars in creator Laura Lee Hope’s long-running Bobbsey Twins youth book series.

Eternally 12-year-old fraternal twins Bert and Nan join eternally 6-year-old fraternal twins Flossie and Freddie to solve mysteries and have wholesome fun. Just like real life. In their latest adventure, Fallin proposes in her State of the State speech that Oklahoma lawmakers raise revenue by taxing 164 services. During the speech, Lamb, as president of the Senate, claps wildly as he sits behind the governor. Snoop the cat, Downy duck and Dinah the Bobbsey family cook all whisper-chant their love of the children. Everyone seems happy.

The plot thickens when, a week later, Lamb delivers a shocking statement announcing his resignation as the state’s Small Business Advocate on Fallin’s Cabinet. Scandal!

In it, he says of Fallin’s tax plan: “This proposal will adversely harm Oklahoma’s small businesses and families, especially those in our service industry [including our beloved cook Dinah, because we might both have to pay additional taxes on her wages],” he wrote [bracketed comments ours]. “While Gov. Fallin and I have disagreed on issues from time to time [including who has the fastest bicycle — I do], our differences on this important topic are so significant they preclude me from continuing to serve on her cabinet. [Additionally, we must now arm-wrestle to see who gets primary custody of Downy and Snoop].”

Hours later, Fallin responded with her own press statement: “I was disappointed and surprised to learn from a press release that Lt. Gov. Lamb had decided to quit serving as a member of my Cabinet,” Fallin wrote. “[And my bicycle has always been faster than his. Everything else is moot!]”

The end.

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