Chicken-Fried News: Crossing boundaries 

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Oklahoma’s best teachers are heading to Texas, and that’s a real problem. But apparently the Sooner State’s most notorious streakers are headed south of the Red River, too.

Readers might not know the name Steven Dale Brazeal, but maybe they would recognize the rear end of the 56-year-old lifetime Oklahoma sex offender. Local news stories revealing his penchant for public nudity and lewdness go back to at least 2006.

But now a whole new population is being exposed to Brazeal’s au naturel physique. According to a report by Houston’s KHOU Channel 11 news, Texas law enforcement officials have recently connected Brazeal to a series of exposure incidents in the Houston area.

Brazeal reportedly walked around a suburban Houston clothing store completely naked. We suppose that could make him either a really big fan of irony or, perhaps, a protester of sorts against the concept of outfits and the Big Fabric industrial complex. Here we all are, absolutely hooked on those unnecessary amenities — things like shirts and pants and socks and hair scrunchies — while these large multinationals rake in the dough.

But we here at Chicken-Fried News are known for taking tough stances, and it is with measured confidence that we say we are pro-clothing, particularly while patronizing a public retail store.

Brazeal’s identity was at first unknown to Texas authorities, but security footage from the clothing store and several other places in the Houston area he visited in the buff led to his identification.

What’s more interesting is that Brazeal was actually arrested in Tulsa a week later after failing to register as a sex offender but got out on bond. That was before he was connected with the Houston lewdness.

Brazeal’s current whereabouts are unknown. Houston’s Montgomery County Sheriff’s Office has asked anyone with information to contact either them or Tulsa Police Department.

Judging by the stills put out by law enforcement, Brazeal’s weight seems to be in the ballpark of 300 pounds. We don’t say that to body-shame in any way, but just to point out that it should not be too hard to spot someone with that much bare skin.

Then again, we all know a full moon only comes out once a month. If Brazeal really wants to blend in, he should find the next live audition for Naked and Afraid as soon as possible.

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