Chicken-Fried News: Dig, baby, dig! 

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Where exactly are we?

Is Oklahoma in the South? The Southwest? We’re not the Midwest, are we?!

Worry no more! Our astute state lawmakers have discovered the answer to a question that has plagued us for decades. Oklahoma is in the center of the earth!

There’s no other reason our state government would try to escape the enormous budget hole they dug for us by going even deeper with more tax cuts.

Even as The Oklahoman reported the state’s budget shortfall will be about $868 million, Tulsa World said many lawmakers are fighting an automatic tax cut in January that could lower the top income tax rate from 5 percent to 4.85 percent.

If the automatic cut isn’t kiboshed, Oklahoma legislators would have $97.8 million less to spend on such trifles as roads and bridges, teacher pay, health care, essential government services and their own salaries.

Thankfully(?!), the state’s economy did not have enough growth revenue this year to trigger the tax cut next year, said finance secretary Preston Doerflinger, according to Tulsa World.

“I think it’s important for everybody to realize you’re not cutting your way out of this situation,” he said. “We have to have a serious conversation about revenue in this state.”

Budget shortfall? Cut taxes. Unemployment rising? Cut taxes. Hungry enough for a snack but not a full meal? Tax breaks for everyone!

The news about Oklahoma being in the center of the earth might come as a shock to some in Oklahoma City, but apparently Tulsa knew what was up a long time ago. That city has had The Center of the Universe landmark for years now.

Print headline: Dig, baby, dig!

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