Chicken-Fried News: Drugged defenestration 

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What happens when you mix uppers and downers?

Ask Emilio Marquis Abbott.

Edmond Police allege the 22-year-old threw himself through the window of an Edmond apartment complex.

And then things got crazy.

As any recently sliced-up young man might do, Abbott then went to Sonic, where he allegedly beat up a couple and hijacked their Honda Civic.

Not far away, police were called to the scene of a fight at Second Street and Broadway.

Guess who!

Police allege that Abbott hit three cars, ditched the Civic and then tried to carjack a woman’s Mercedes. When people came to her aid and pulled him from the automobile, he allegedly bit a man’s fingers all the way to the bone. When officers arrived, he then switched to fighting them until the pepper spray came out.

“So, what was Abbott on?” is the question everyone is asking. We’ll tell you.

According to police, the man admitted that he had taken Xanax, smoked weed and drank liquor and beer before everything happened.

Well, at least now we all know exactly how many drugs it takes to make Edmond exciting.

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