Chicken-Fried News: Edmond high 

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Just when you thought things could not get any tougher on today’s youth, a brand-new problem is making its way to the hallways of Oklahoma schools. That’s right; our state’s new medical marijuana law is bound to expose innocent younglings to the irredeemably evil cannabis plant.

As reported by NewsOK.com, Edmond Public Schools voted this month to expand its drug-testing program in the wake of State Question 788.

Edmond had to act fast because there is absolutely no way we could ever allow teenagers to spoil the district’s pure and pristine hallways, bathrooms, parking lots and stadium bleachers with wretched reefer smoke.

“I have great concern on medical marijuana and its effects on kids,” said Superintendent Bret Towne at Monday’s regular meeting of the Edmond Board of Education.

Yes, it is definitely time to nip this marijuana thing in the bud before it becomes a real problem. There are no other major issues plaguing Oklahoma schools. Please move this one up to the very top priority and take immediate action on it. Edmond kids getting  — gulp — high? Not our angels!

It is interesting that Towne’s concern is related to the effects of specifically medical marijuana, given that licensees must be 18 years old or have two physician recommendations and parental approval. What’s he worried about, that some suburban teenager might actually find relief from their high level of anxiety? In all fairness, we suppose actually finding solutions for life’s problems as a teenager kind of cheats the whole high school experience.

The expanded drug-testing program will include increased random testing, with 600 random tests set to occur sometime over the next school year. Testing had been reduced in recent years due to budget constraints.

In the past, only about 2-3 percent of drug-tested Edmond students have tested positive for drug use. At an estimated $32 per test, that can build up to a lot of money for not a lot of proven use. Superintendent Towne looks at it as more of a preventative measure.

“This (testing) gives students a way to say ‘no’ to their peers,” he said.

The issue is not that schools are drug testing. It’s the knee-jerk reaction to a weeks-old law in the face of far more harmful problems that seems tone-deaf.

Aren’t shootings still something that happens almost each semester in schools around the country? Aren’t the more addictive and far more potentially harmful prescription opioid drugs the most imminent intoxicant threat the children of today face? It seems these issues are usually treated with a lot more slow deliberation.

School district energy would be better spent trying to improve actual test scores.

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