“What’s my chances of winning? Who knows, you know?” he told the TV news station. “Pretty slim. But I’m going to give them a run for their money.” 

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Bleached-blonde, mullet-sporting, fringed-leather-jacket-wearing Oklahoma zookeeper Joe Exotic — real name Joseph Maldonado, née Joe Schreibvogel — announced his candidacy for president of the United States last week, according to KFOR.com.

He also owns Garold Wayne Interactive Zoological Park in Wynnewood.

“What’s my chances of winning? Who knows, you know?” he told the TV news station. “Pretty slim. But I’m going to give them a run for their money.”

He said his key platforms are veterans’ rights and health care.

He also made his intent known at an event in Ohio, where he addressed “the Ohio people about their tax money being used in a monopoly pushed through by Governor Kasich, Senator Balderson,” he said in a media release.

Yeah! Way to focus on the issues!

In our infinite immaturity, we almost compared his distinctive look to Crocodile Dundee or Buffalo Bill, but we read a little more about him — We said a little; it’s not like we said we’re literate. — and decided against it. Then we put the lotion on our skin before we got the hose again.

“It shouldn’t be about the way I look. It shouldn’t be about anything else,” he told KFOR. “I’m not going to wear a suit. I’m not cutting my hair because I’m not going to be fake.”

As for animal rights activists who have dogged him and the zoo over the years, he said in a Facebook video post, “Y’all go play somewhere else, because right now, we don’t even have time to respond to your bullshit.”

Print Headline: Exotic candidacy

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