Chicken-Fried News: No. 4 and climbing 


Gov. Mary Fallin is not the least popular governor in the U.S., but perhaps that’s only because Oklahoma doesn’t have any closed coastal beaches on which she and daughter Christina could throw an illegal clambake.

According to a July 18 poll from Morning Consult, a Washington, D.C.-based polling firm, Fallin ranked as the fourth least-popular governor, behind New Jersey beachcomber and White House burger-fetcher Chris Christie; Kansas bankruptcy colossus Sam Brownback; and Connecticut’s Dannel Malloy, who presided over large tax increases, huge cuts to popular programs and massive government layoffs.

Fallin might not have reached those dizzying depths, but it’s not for lack of trying. In addition to her record of science denial, botched executions, high incarceration rates and seeming inability or unwillingness to separate church from state, she’s presiding over one of the worst budget crises in state history. Fallin also was mentioned as a possible Trump running mate but apparently was unable to meet the impossibly high standards of the Trumpian vetting process.

In October, she called only Christians to pray for Oklahoma’s energy companies, seemingly discounting the rest of the world religions’ ability to coax higher petroleum prices out of the market. And Fallin was among the last people in the state to acknowledge the connection between earthquakes and horizontal drilling practices. When Oklahomans wake up from having their foundations cracked by a seismic rupture, they often curse Fallin’s name before rolling over to resume their snooze.

Chicken-Fried News got a little wheezy and almost didn’t get to the whole thing about Christina Fallin living in a trailer behind the governor’s mansion. Yes, that happened, too. Now, in the event that Oklahoma starts closing state parks to solve the budget crisis, CFN advises Fallin to avoid any wild frolics on closed hiking trails. That could send her straight to No. 1.

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