Chicken-Fried News: Pacified? 

 

click to enlarge (Madeline Hancock)
  • Madeline Hancock

Think pacifiers are just for babies? Think again. A man robbing people in Oklahoma City certainly doesn’t feel confined by convention.

He’s wanted for armed carjacking but is becoming infamous for committing his crimes while sucking on a pacifier.

He held a victim at gunpoint, stealing his wallet and car keys for a red 1997 Grand Prix Sept. 19, all while sporting his infantile fashion accessory.

Scott Schaeffer, director of Oklahoma Poison Control, told News9.com that people tripping on hallucinogenic drugs often suck on pacifiers so they don’t grind their teeth.

So, you know, the suspect is probably doing some serious drugs and is wanted for a felony, but at least he’s not racking up an expensive bill for dental work.

The news even made it into a WTFark video.

Also, KOCO is calling him the Binky Bandit, so there’s that.

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