Chicken-Fried News: Snake eyes 

click to enlarge INGVARD ASHBY
  • Ingvard Ashby

Doorbell cameras are an important line of home security, allowing people to see who is at the door even when they are not at home. When doorbell camera footage makes the news, it is often for something weird like that guy in California who licked a doorbell for a few hours and then walked away. What was up with that?

Sometimes there are frantic Nextdoor posts about people offering liquid drugs in solo cups that merely turn out to be partygoers with the wrong address, but the doorbell camera viral video game took a turn toward shocking last week when footage from Lawton did for ringing doorbells what Lethal Weapon 2 did for going to the bathroom: make the routine terrifying.

Video shows Jerel Heywood dropping by to visit his friend Rodney Copeland in Lawton, but as Heywood opens the front door, a snake that had been coiled around a porch light reaches out and bites Copeland just above his right eye.

“Take me to the hospital,” Copeland can be heard saying immediately after the bite. Copeland is fine. The snake was not venomous, and the wound did not require stitches.

The snake might have gotten flashbacks from its ancestors in getting banished from Ireland by St. Patrick, if that were actually true and snakes had some sort of Shirley MacLaine-esque connections to past lives.

After screams attracted a neighbor to the commotion, the neighbor brought over a hammer and pummeled the 5-foot-5-inch snake to death, according to CNN.

Copeland told CNN that he plans to keep any potential uninvited guests away by spraying the yard with sulfuric acid. We hear that works for snakes and doorbell-lickers.

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