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Chicken-Fried News

Chicken-Fried News: I am the law

Every high school student reading David Thoreau’s Walden has probably fantasized about leaving society behind and living off the land.

By Gazette staff Nov 13, 2019

sovereign citizens Libertarians Oklahoma City Police Carlton Hardman traffic violations Moorish Science Temple of America

Chicken-Fried News: What’s beef?

After Gov. Kevin Stitt signed Senate Bill 392, prohibiting “certain misleading or deceptive practices” in labeling meat products, Oklahoma Cattlemen’s Association released a celebratory statement.

By Gazette staff Nov 13, 2019

Kevin Stitt Senate Bill 392 SB392 meat labels Oklahoma Cattlemen’s Association Michael Kelsey United States Department of Agriculture USDA William Payne Oklahoma Department of Agriculture Blayne Arthur Charles McCall Destiny Ranch

Chicken-Fried News: Gambling problem

Last year, the tribal nations operating Oklahoma’s more than 100 casinos paid $139 million to the state in “exclusivity fees,” according to Associated Press, but Gov. Kevin “Never Count Your Money When You’re Sitting at the Table” Stitt wants to raise the stakes.

By Gazette staff Nov 7, 2019

CFN Gambling problem tribal nations casinos Associated Press Kevin Stitt Tulsa World gaming industry gambling Mike Hunter Citizen Potawatomi Nation Grand Casino Hotel & Resort Shawnee Brad Henry Native Americans Fort Laramie Treaty of 1868

Chicken-Fried News: Shell shocked

Believe it or not, plastic straws aren’t the only things harming and killing turtles.

By Gazette staff Nov 7, 2019

CFN turtles save the turtles Oklahoma Department of Wildlife Conservation William Gangemi turtle smuggler box turtles U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service wildlife trafficking Carlos Gomez Game Warden News on 6 National Geographic Reuters pollution plastic environment animals

Chicken-Fried News: Broken justice

Remember in 2016 when Oklahoma overwhelmingly voted in favor of State Question 780, which allows the more than 60,000 Oklahomans convicted of simple drug possession to seek parole and expunge felony drug possession?

By Gazette staff Nov 6, 2019

CFN State Question 780 Kevin Stitt state question William Muller Oklahoma County District Attorney’s Office David Prater District Attorney notice of claim criminal justice criminal justice reform Associated Press Oklahomans for Criminal Justice Reform Kris Steele Oklahoma Association of Police Chiefs KFOR

Chicken-Fried News: Red erring

Who knew picking the color of a car could be such a big deal.

By Gazette staff Oct 31, 2019

Megan Simpson Oklahoma Department of Public Safety Chevy Tahoe John Scully

Chicken-Fried News: Who’s watching?

The 1.5 million viewers who watched Watchmen premiere on HBO earlier this month saw a recreation of a defining moment in Tulsa’s history and heard songs from the 1943 Richard Rodgers and Oscar Hammerstein musical Oklahoma!, but we’re guessing the Oklahoma Tourism and Recreation Department was less than thrilled about it.

By Gazette staff Oct 30, 2019

Watchmen HBO Oklahoma! Oklahoma Tourism and Recreation Department Tulsa Race Massacre Oklahoma Commission to Study the Tulsa Race Riot Damon Lindelof

Chicken-Fried News: What would you say you do here?

In the 1999 cult classic film Office Space, a pair of business consultants both named Bob are brought in to help a software company downsize.

By Gazette staff Oct 30, 2019

Oklahoma Legislature Legislative Compensation Board pay raise Kevin Stitt Jonathan Dodson

Chicken-Fried News: Psycho-lactic drugs

The infamous Oklahoma County jail, as most people know, is badly designed, overcrowded and much less appealing than sleeping on the streets.

By Gazette staff Oct 24, 2019

Oklahoma County jail Cody Gregg cocaine drug tests faulty drug tests

Chicken-Fried News: Talkin’ trash

The historically heated rivalry between Texas and Oklahoma football teams began fuming early at this year’s Red River Showdown, requiring officials to intervene and call unsportstmanlike conduct penalties on both sides a half hour before kickoff.

By Ingvard Ashby and Gazette staff Oct 23, 2019

Texas Oklahoma football Red River Showdown Schuyler Dixon Cotton Bowl Stadium University of Oklahoma University of Texas unsportstmanlike conduct

Chicken-Fried News: Party crashers

The GOP controls every statewide elected position and body of government with level of domination that the state hasn’t seen since conservatives still voted Democrat (before civil rights got in the way) and Oklahoma was part of the Solid South.

By Gazette staff Oct 23, 2019

GOP Oklahoma Republican Party debt Mike Turner David McLain Republican National Committee Holly Gerard Ted Cruz A.J. Ferate political action committee

Chicken-Fried News: Dog did it

Is “the dog shot me” the adult version of “my dog ate my homework"?

By Ingvard Ashby and Gazette staff Oct 17, 2019

CFN Dog did it Grant County Molly Enid News & Eagle Brent Parks Tina Springer Enid News

Chicken-Fried News: Secretive Sooners

Add “Black Hole” to the list of names people call the University of Oklahoma (OU) board of regents — right next to “corrupt,” “failures” and probably a less appropriate type of hole.

By Gazette staff Oct 16, 2019

CFN Secretive Sooners Sooners Black Hole Award Freedom of Information Oklahoma Andy Moore NASA Scott Pruitt Edmond Police Department Larry Stevens OU University of Oklahoma Oklahoma State University Oklahoma Supreme Court Mary Fallin FOI Joseph Harroz James Gallogly

Chicken-Fried News: Fuzzy Math

We here at Chicken-Fried News would calculate that Oklahomans are as good at math as just about anybody.

By Gazette staff Oct 16, 2019

CFN Fuzzy Math National Assessment of Educational Progress Johnson & Johnson opioid epidemic opioids opioid crisis opioid trial Thad Balkman Cleveland County AP Associated Press

Chicken-Fried News: Nobamacare

State Question 802 would allow voters to decide whether Oklahoma will finally accept the Medicaid expansion authorized by the Affordable Care Act, aka Obamacare, but in order to get it on the ballot in 2020, organizers have until 5 p.m.

By Gazette staff Oct 10, 2019

State Question 802 Medicaid expansion Obamacare Affordable Care Act Oklahoma Health Care Authority Mary Fallin The Cecil G. Sheps Center for Health Services Research rural hospitals hospital closure Patti Davis Oklahoma Hospital Association 2019 KIDS COUNT Data Book The Annie E. Casey Foundation health care

Chicken-Fried News: Dr. Roboto

A new high-tech way to go to the dentist is here, and it will either terrify you or encourage you to finally visit your dentist.

By Gazette staff Oct 9, 2019

dentist robots Oral Surgery Specialists of Oklahoma robotic dentists dental implant surgery Yomi Robotic Dental System Neocis Elizabeth Bolen dental surgery

Chicken-Fried News: Bittersweet release

The sweet taste of freedom quickly soured like an unripe cherry for an Oklahoma City man last week after he led police on a high-speed chase just hours after being released from prison.

By Gazette staff Oct 9, 2019

high-speed chase Jonathan Tecumseh traffic stop firearm

Chicken-Fried News: Church in state

Fresh off his, uh, “win” in the historic opioid trial, Oklahoma attorney general Mike Hunter is now leading a fight against the Montana Supreme Court.

By Gazette staff Oct 3, 2019

Mike Hunter Montana Supreme Court religious school options tax credit scholarship program tax credit separation of church and state Oklahoma Constitution Lindsey Nicole Henry Scholarship Program

Chicken-Fried News: Mullet over

When a reporter asked a flippant question about recently deceased oil billionaire T. Boone Pickens during a teleconference interview last month, Oklahoma State football coach Mike Gundy wasn’t having it.

By Gazette staff Oct 2, 2019

T. Boone Pickens Oklahoma State University Mike Gundy Mark Rosner OSU mullet

Chicken-Fried News: Free the nipple

A ruling out of the 10th Circuit Court of Appeals in Denver has set a precedent that is sure to result in a lot of pearl-grabbing while screaming, “Won’t somebody please think of the children.”

By Gazette staff Oct 2, 2019

10th Circuit Court of Appeals topless public nudity Oklahoma Wyoming Utah Colorado Kansas New Mexico Fort Collins U.S. Supreme Court Free the Nipple Denver Boulder

Chicken-Fried News: Coffin dwelling

To most introverts, spending 30 hours alone with no connection to the outside world might sound like a dream come true — especially if you get paid $600 once it’s all said and done.

By Gazette staff Sep 26, 2019

Frontier City Six Flags coffin Halloween Silver Bullet amusement park Fright Fest contest

Chicken-Fried News: Game changer

In news that’s guaranteed to get Grandpa started on a, “These damn kids nowadays with their purple hair and their Pokermans [sic]” rant, Oklahoma City University’s new E-Sports team, which held tryouts on Sept. 14, gives students the chance to play video games competitively against teams from other schools.

By Gazette staff Sep 25, 2019

esports E-Sports video games Oklahoma City University Jeff Price Austin Hogue

Chicken-Fried News: Righteous Gateway

As The Righteous Gemstones — the series meant to satirize the hypocrisy of powerful megachurches — is in the middle of its run on HBO, real life is proving to be just as absurd as the television show.

By Gazette staff Sep 25, 2019

The Righteous Gemstones HBO The Frontier Gateway Ministries IRS Jesse Leon Rodgers Watchmen on the Wall Family Research Council City Elders David McLain Oklahoma Conservative Political Action Committee Tea Party Ministry Watch Rusty Leonard

Chicken-Fried News: Wing stop?

A continuing city council squabble over a planned public art installation in Enid might mean the work remains incomplete after more than two years of construction.

By Gazette staff Sep 19, 2019

Romy Ownes Enid City Council Under Her Wing was the Universe Adam Lanham Enid News & Eagle Ben Ezzell Jonathan Waddell

Chicken-Fried News: Convenient narrative

If you, an average person, decided to leave your job without providing two weeks notice, which would give the former employer the ability to adequately find a replacement, would you expect them to roll out the red carpet if you returned on a business meeting as a member of your former company’s biggest competitor?

By Gazette staff Sep 19, 2019

Kevin Durant Oklahoma City Thunder Golden State Warriors National Basketball Association Russell Westbrook Wall Street Journal